New Year, New... something.

One of my new years' resolutions was to be more consistent with maintaining my blogs and keeping things up to date.

In light of that, my plan for today was to write about feminism and victim blaming, something that was sparked in my mind by someone I know and a friend of hers, whose outrageous views on women and children's responsibilities for their own assaults shocked the crap out of me.

It started with my this person I know, "A" posting on Facebok about reading that a woman or child is missing, then seeing their picture and seeing that they were dressed, as she put it, "like little whores".  The rest of her post made it pretty clear that her main objection was in fact to parents who allow their pre-teen children to where sexual clothing and their refusal to actually parent their children.  I agree with her about the fact that kids shouldn't be dressed in sexual clothing, that there's no reason for a little girl to own a thong or walk around with her ass hanging out of her skirt, so I didn't comment, because I assumed that she had just articulated her thoughts in a way that made her come across as a victim blaming nutcase.

How wrong I was.  Some of her friends did call her out, and her responses pointed to a complete lack of understanding of what leads to rape and child abduction.  So I pointed out to her that a woman's attire has nothing to do with her likelihood of being raped and that scumbag rapists use this kind of reasoning as an excuse after the fact.

One of her friends, B, chimed in with some completely ridiculous (and borderline incomprehensible) garbage about rape being natural (because, dolphins!!!), "This feminist bullshit doesn't work in the real world" and the Bible says that thinking is as bad as doing ("BAMM BITCH!").  She also made it clear that she disagreed with me, because children shouldn't be dressed like that, blah, blah, blah and "parenting needs to be necessary".*

I reminded B that I had already stated (by this point repeatedly) that I do not think that little girls should be allowed to dress in overly sexual clothing.  I also pointed out that thinking can't possibly be as bad as doing, that thinking a thing hurts no one (this earned me a "good to see you're not a christian of any kind"), but that people who have sexual feelings toward children should seek professional help.  And of course, yes, rape happens in the animal kingdom, where animals have no concept of nudity, so clothing (or a lack thereof) could not possibly make any difference as to the choices they make.

And I suggested that I would have thought the "feminist bullshit" would be appealing to two girls who dress less-than-conservatively and buck the status quo.  This earned me reprieves from both the B and A, along the lines, of I've met A and she's always covered up, cosplay and modelling don't count and I'm always covered up except when I'm on a photo shoot, Thank You very much, Sister.

I would like to think that my and some of A's other friends' comments made her realize how completely backwards her views were and were what shamed her into taking the whole thing down, but sadly, I think it had to do with how much of a giant hypocrite she looked like, when I said that, though I have no problem with her clothing choices or the way she presents herself, always being covered up (which she usually is), except when posting pictures of herself half-naked online or going to anime conventions in costumes, isn't the same as always being covered up.

I wish I could have posted the entire thing on here and dissected, piece by piece.  Not to point out how ridiculous A was being or how unable B is to form a coherent sentence, but to try to figure out how two women, in their mid-to-late 20s, in 2014, have such ridiculous and puritanical views of female virtue (and how, at the same time, are loud, in-your-face, swear like sailors and dress in clothes that - in their own words - are skanky, slutty or those of little whores.)

I was thinking of closing this with a picture of A in a spiked bra, a spiked collar (which I believe she stole from me), a pair of boxer briefs and what appear to be crotchless leatherette pants, but despite the fact that this picture is available online, as are many, many more like it, I think it`s up to her to be indiscriminate regarding who sees it, not me.

*I should point out, that the reason for the play-by-play is the fact that I was going to post screen caps of the whole damn mess, but A deleted the whole post (I'm guessing because she couldn't delete only my comments?) at some point either yesterday or this morning.

Poppies

A white poppy means peace.
So white is like our hands:
Unsoiled by the war we never had to fight.
And a flower's always peaceful.
Peaceful like the dead.
The friend I didn't bury,
The Foe I didn't kill,
And all those people I didn't watch Die.
 But peace is not for the dead alone;
We live in peace, we breathe it.
I like my poppies red,
Like the blood I've never had to spill

Things That Bother Me

I know, I know.  You'd think after such a long break from posting, I would come back with something positive or inspiring.  Sorry to disappoint, but this is just a list of things I don't like.

1. People who use or misuse '90s power phrases.  Terms like, bringing that on board or putting it into perspective, meetings, briefs, catch-ups, synergy.  Seriously, corporate yuppidom is not the holy grail of life's ambition.  Just stop.
2. When people are so busy falling over themselves to make sure one group is treated fairly that they end up stomping all over the rights and freedoms of another group.
3. People complaining how much my wedding is going to cost them.  There have been people who have told me they don't know if they'll be able to attend my wedding because of money.  This sucks, because if they know where my wedding is and can make that judgement, it's because I'd really like them to be there.  But I understand completely, so I'm not bitter... but I am getting sick to death of people, who plan to come, harping on about how much money it's going to cost them.  As if I should change my wedding plans, and basically make it impossible for my fiance's family to attend, just so they don't have to put money aside.  Weddings, even attending weddings, can be expensive.  I'm not asking for costly gifts or having a buck and doe, or throwing myself a bridal shower.  I'm not asking for anything other than their presence, if they can provide it.  The only people who have a right to bitch about how expensive my wedding will be are my fiance and my parents.  That's it.
4. People who don't flush public toilets after use, who pee on the seat and/or floor, who take ten minutes to dry their hands or give dirty looks to people who take more than ten seconds.
5. People who use terms like Swag and Meme, or who say No bueno but aren't Spanish.
6. People who think that people who attend(ed) university are objectively better or smarter than other people - and people who think that people who attend(ed) university are spoiled and don't know how the world really works.
7. When two fat people walk side by side down a narrow path, swinging their arms, at one tenth the speed of a normal person, then give you dirty looks when you politely say excuse me and try to get around.
8. Landlords who are too cheap to provide heat, working appliances or water that isn't either scalding or a single degree away from ice.
9. People who think that just because you say happy holidays, you are some weird, left-wing nutcase who hates Christmas and is caving to pressure to be politically correct, when maybe all you were trying to do is include New Year's in a single phrase.
10. When you feel compelled to make all your lists in multiples of 5.

The Gay Debate

I am getting so sick of gay rights being debated.  In 1999, I was asking why homosexuality was still an issue and 13 years later, the same, ridiculous, bigoted arguments are still making the rounds.  The anti-gay complaints that were tired then are being hauled out and pushed back into the world now, and frankly, it makes me sick.  I've answered some of them here, in an attempt (sadly, likely vain) to put them to rest.


Homosexuality isn't natural
This is one of the most common arguments I've seen online lately.  It is most often used in conjunction with trite religious comments like God made Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve.  Ok, so let's explore this.  I'll agree, as a genetic trait, homosexuality isn't particularly useful to the species.  It's not something that's going to be reinforced through selective breeding, and the sub argument if we were all gay the human race would cease to exist is true, I suppose, if we rule out IVF.  But the thing is, if you don't believe in evolution, you can't argue that homosexuality is unnatural. There are gay penguins, dogs, wolves and squids - documented cases of animals with no desire to mate with members of the opposite sex and preferring their own.  If it exists in nature, it must be natural - and if you want to argue that for some reason it shouldn't exist in nature, the only leg you could possibly attempt to stand on is an evolutionary one.  Unless God made a mistake.

The Bible says in Leviticus That Homosexuality is an Abomination
Yes, yes it does.  It also details the correct way to perform ritual animal sacrifice, and explains the correct procedures for beating your slaves.  I'm not saying Christians should throw out everything in the Bible because some of it is a little crazy - but if you're going to abandon the teachings which are obsolete and/or ridiculous, that should include all of the obsolete ridiculousness, including the random hatred of gay people.


Why Don't Straight People Get a Straight Pride Parade?
Because every day in the western world (and I suspect in the rest of the world, but I comment here only from experience) is a giant straight pride parade!  Look around you.  At movies.  At advertisements.  At everything.  We live in a society that is extremely heterosexualcentric.  I'm not saying this is necessarily a bad or evil thing.  In general, society is going to cater to the majority (this is especially true in a consumer culture like ours) - but that doesn't mean we should ignore minorities or deny them the same rights that everyone else enjoys.  The question you should be asking is Why do we need a gay pride parade? And if you complain about/marginalize or try to deny the rights of gay people, the answer has a lot more to do with you than it does with them... And, really, if it bugs you that much, go have a straight pride parade.  Who's stopping you?

 Wah, Wah, Wah, Sanctity of Marriage, Wah, Wah
 Is your marriage really so fragile and meaningless that its significance is somehow going to be damaged by someone else's?  If it is, I pity you, but it's not really the other person/people's fault that your marriage sucks.  If your marriage is strong enough to withstand the horror of others getting married without your approval, that's excellent... but then what are you complaining about, again?

They Want Special Rights
Name one.  Name one special right that the LGTB community has ever asked for.  The right to marry?  The right to have children?  The right to exist?  Those aren't special rights, they're just rights.  Normal, everyday rights.





  
The Gays are Always Pushing Their Agenda on Me and My Kids
Ok, seriously?  What is The Gay Agenda?  I mean, do you really think LGTB individuals are gathering in secret meetings, discussing ways they can convert you and your children?  Really?  Do you really believe that?  I've seen tonnes of pamphlets and fliers detailing why homosexuality is a sin (one actually referred to the gay people in my home town as an infestation), or suggesting that family values are in danger from gay marriage, but I've never been handed a glossy stock photo with bullet points explaining the dangers of being straight, or the benefits of a gay lifestyle.  The Gay Agenda does not exist.  No one is trying to make you gay.  Get over yourself. 
 

A Year Yesterday

Actually, a year four days ago.  But still.

A little over a year ago, I got on a plane and flew nearly 6,000 kilometers to be with the man I love.  It was the single most intelligent and most meaningful thing I've done, the best decision I've ever made.  I still wake up smiling and often catch myself staring at him, trying to figure out how I got so lucky.

There were people who thought what I was doing was insane, that I wasn't prepared for the change or the financial challenge - and people who, though they tried very hard not to say as much, clearly thought there was a good chance the relationship would fail and I would be stuck in England, penniless and alone.  And a year (which simultaneously feels like a century and an eye blink) ago, I decided that on V Day 2012 I would write a big screw you to everyone who thought we wouldn't make it.

But, to be honest, I'm not bitter.  I knew those people where wrong then, I know that they were wrong now, and I'm still happy, so why bother?  The majority of them were just concerned for me, even if their concern showed itself in a way I didn't like.

I met him in August, in October I was in love and by November, so was he.  In February, we officially started our life together... and a year later, we're still going strong.

Happy 2012 - The World Will End in 348 Days

So, we're over a week into 2012 - and probably the world won't really end on the 21st of December, but who knows?    Anyway, this isn't a the world is going to end post so much as it's a generic New Year's resolutions and stuff post.

New Year's resolutions - don't have many.  The typical one, starting tomorrow (I was on vacation on the first and wholly refuse to start dieting while on vacation - and while I can follow a diet on the weekend, starting one just seems wrong somehow.), start eating better, start exercising regularly, be bikini ready by the summer (this is going to be extremely difficult, because I need to loose almost 15 pounds and turn my remaining belly flub into toned muscle in a few months) and look amazing for my sister's wedding; Learn enough Slovak that I can talk to mi novio's parents without a translator; get another novel published; write every day.

It doesn't really seem like that much to do, typed out neatly in a list like that, but I don't have any illusions that any of this is going to be easy.  A lot of people manage.  People who, even if they're really amazing, cool people, you just want to hate because they're so together and seem to manage to work full time, follow a tone of other hobbies/dreams/ ambitions and look amazing while doing so, but people none the less.  I'd like to be one of those people, I think.  It would probably suck to have everyone be jealous of you and secretly hating you, but I think it would be worth it, really.

I think mainly, I just need lists.  Or something to help me concentrate.  Ritalin?  I don't know. 

I don't much feel like ending this with some inspirational crap about how this year will be different, how I'll force myself to focus on what matters, etc, because, frankly, I don't know that I will.  But I will say that 2011 has been absolutely amazing, without a doubt, the most interesting year of my life so far and certainly the one in which I was most proactive.  If I could boil this all down to one resolution, it would be to make 2012 even better.

I Know...

So, I've been away for a while.  Not really away, just away from blogging.  Busy and stuff.

I got a job.  It's a good job and I like it, even if it's not the kind of job I ever imagined myself doing.  The perks are excellent and the people are wonderful.  Our department's Christmas party was Friday.  I had my first (and second (and come to that, possibly 3rd, though I can't remember for sure)) Jagerbomb, 2 G&Ts and a glass of champagne.  With the exception of the second G&T, which a coworker bought for me, these drinks were all free, paid for by the company.  It was great to see everyone let loose, even if some of them let a little looser than they should.

I sadly did not finish my NaNoWriMo story, Quicksand in November.  I made it to about 21,000 words and couldn't manage any more.  This whole working full time thing has gotten harder since I was doing it last.  I honestly think that's just the weather, though, because I work until 6:00 and right now that means I'm there until after dark.

I sold enough shirts to get the Reactionary Motors one for my Dad for Christmas.  My dreams of having the Bitch, Please one for myself have been put on hold, but such is life.

I was just about to write about our plans to visit Slovakia over Christmas, and I realize now that I've totally neglected to say anything at all about Prague, which was wonderful and will get a whole blog post shortly.

Also, somewhere in the confusion of November and December, our flatmate, whose Internet we used and paid toward, left and the Internet was disconnected (we'd recently given him £30 to it - not impressed)

My Slovak is not improving as quickly as I'd hoped.  Need to get working on that.

I think that's all for now.  I'll post about Prague soon, and try to keep a little bit more updatey in the meantime.