A Year Yesterday

Actually, a year four days ago.  But still.

A little over a year ago, I got on a plane and flew nearly 6,000 kilometers to be with the man I love.  It was the single most intelligent and most meaningful thing I've done, the best decision I've ever made.  I still wake up smiling and often catch myself staring at him, trying to figure out how I got so lucky.

There were people who thought what I was doing was insane, that I wasn't prepared for the change or the financial challenge - and people who, though they tried very hard not to say as much, clearly thought there was a good chance the relationship would fail and I would be stuck in England, penniless and alone.  And a year (which simultaneously feels like a century and an eye blink) ago, I decided that on V Day 2012 I would write a big screw you to everyone who thought we wouldn't make it.

But, to be honest, I'm not bitter.  I knew those people where wrong then, I know that they were wrong now, and I'm still happy, so why bother?  The majority of them were just concerned for me, even if their concern showed itself in a way I didn't like.

I met him in August, in October I was in love and by November, so was he.  In February, we officially started our life together... and a year later, we're still going strong.

♥

So I had an interview this morning and I have work tonight. I was hoping my interview would end before mi novio had to be at work, but it didn't; we missed each other by minutes. When I got home, there was a note on my computer, asking me to run an errand. At first, I was all whiney (internally whiney), thinking It's hot, I don't wanna go back out. Why do I have to-- and then I noticed the little smiley face on the bottom of the note and a much more sensible internal voice pointed out that I'm pretty much the luckiest person alive and I should go out in the sunshine and enjoy my damn errand - which is exactly what I did.

More Dinosaurs

So, to add to the life finds a way design I posted a couple of days ago, I thought I would share this video of a T rex in the mall (sadly, I won't likely be back to this mall for a long time). Wish my BF could have come with me and we could have taken cheesy pictures in front of it, but, alas, he had to work :( Anyway, this is as close to Canada Day fireworks as I'll get on this blog, so please enjoy.

I have so much packing to do today. I should get a jump on it, but I think I need to go back to sleep for an hour or two if I'm going to be anything other than completely useless by this evening.

And, in addition to packing, it's time to start the great job/accommodation hunt yet again. One day, we might live in the same place for several months on end. One day.

I think that's it for me, other than to add that I plan to start shamelessly plugging my stuff (my book, T shirt designs, etc.) at the bottom of every post. You've been warned.


All Apple has ever wanted is to be left alone - but having twelve inch horns sticking out of her head hasn't exactly made that easy. And to make matters worse, she's started to notice the signs; the world is going to end... Now she and her best frienemy, the angel Camael, are torn between doing the right thing and hiding under a rock until it's all over. Meanwhile, Apple is being bedeviled on all sides, by her angel friend, her human mother, her demon father and Moloch, a general of Hell's army, who wants to recruit her for his own unknown reasons.

Aigaion Girl ... a story of the end of days is on sale now. You can get your copy from amazon.com, or click the flag of your country on my writing page.

Lomography

This post has nothing whatsoever to do with lomography. Thought I'd clear that up now.

I should be sending out CVs or looking for a place but today I'm choosing activities that won't get bollocks'd up if I have to stop suddenly to vomit, as that seems to be the one thing my body is interested in today.

So I figure blogging is safest; I can always come back and fix spelling errors, or pick up where I left off if I need to reach for yet another Sainsbury's bag. I'm sure you wanted to know all of this. On to other things.

I watched Enemy at the Gates yesterday. It's not really good, but I realized something which had hitherto escaped my notice: my guy looks a lot like Jude Law. Very similar eyes, nose, lips and jaw-line. If Jude Law were a touch more masculine (not that I have anything against the pretty boy thing, but I do enjoy my manly man), they could be brothers. Or cousins. Anyway, it was kind a surprising observation to make and I kept looking back and forth to see if the similarities were really there or if I was just imagining them.

I have so much house work to do today and I haven't done any of it. The guys we live with haven't done their washing up in ages, so the sink is disgusting, but I really did plan to tackle it and then take care of the dishes of ours that have been accumulating beside it. Also, I planned to do some packing, some laundry, some anything. I hate being sick and I hate not knowing what's causing it. Mlah, I may actually have to go see a doctor - and also, as much as I hate being sick at work, I almost think it's worse to be sick on your day off - like the sickness steals the day from you or something.

This is quickly becoming a long, rambling, woe-is-me blog post of nothingness, so I think I'll cut it short there. Hopefully I'll have something a little more cheerful to share next time :)

New in the World of Me

Actually, not too much is new in the world of me, at the moment. Still working at the pizza place, still in the tiny room in the house in the middle of nowhere, still happy and content to a fault.

It's really sunny and beautiful out and really, I should be outside enjoying it - or at the very least, I should be putting the laundry in the washing machine now so that it can be be dry by tomorrow.

We went to Bournemouth the day before yesterday and had a grand time there. Other than being slightly less touristy, it doesn't really seem to be different from Brighton in any significant way. But it was a good day, spent with friends, and full of moments of quiet squee.

In other news, I designed another new T shirt (see the Jeff Goldblum dinosaur to the right). Have to say, I'm pretty pleased with it (Hehe, pretty pleased).

There was one other thing I was going to mention, but now I can't remember what it was. I hate when that happens, but it happens so frequently now that I'm pretty much used to it. Need more B12, I guess.

Additional: I remembered what it was. I was going to say that I'm quite pleased that Blogger finally introduced separate pages - but thinking about it, finally might be stretching it a bit; a few years ago, I looked into it and there was no way to have more than one page, and it never occured to me to check to see if that had changed until I visited this blog either last week or the week before and found that the author had set up multiple pages.

Another Big Update

As you can see, I've redone the blog again - or, I should say, I'm in the process of redoing it now. I need a new background, and to add some new pages (and fix the T shirts page) but I'm almost done, for now. I'll probably redo it again in a couple of months, when I have the energy to go in and fiddle with the code.

What else? We moved out of our house and into another at the beginning of May. This place is really small and a million miles away from everything; thankfully, we'll be moving on soon. I'm so tired of moving, but there isn't much for it.

I'm working (finally!) at a pizza place, which is a little embarrassing but ultimately not as bad as it sounds. There are parts of my job that drive me insane, but it's pretty much just a job. Most of the guys there (there are, counting the one that started this week, 5 girls that work there, and over 20 guys) are nice enough. Some are ridiculous and seem to think that because I'm new/female, I'm a) a complete idiot and b) should not be doing anything but bitch work. Luckily, they're in the minority. I really like my bosses, but I wish they would explain to me who is a supervisor and who isn't, so I know who I can tell to stuff it when they wordlessly shove a broom in my face.

In the land of men, I'm perfectly happy with the one I've got... which means that Murphy's Law comes into affect and despite not having gone on a single date during my adulthood pre-M., and despite only being asked out twice between the ages of 16 and 23, I have now, it seems, become a hot commodity. Well. This is a huge exaggeration. But after many years of guys showing next-to-no interest in me, it's really weird. Guys flirt with me on the phone and in person, ask me out, tell me how wonderful I am, despite not really knowing me... call me at really inappropriate times of night, despite knowing that I have a boyfriend... act really awkward around me the next day, as if my annoyance was unjustified... Anyway, even the harmless niceness makes me a bit uncomfortable. And it does, I have to admit, make me wonder where the hell all these guys were from, say ages 12-15 and 16-23. Not that I wish they'd been around; I'm annoyed for my past self, but for my current self, I'm glad they didn't show up.

After what seems like an eternity of being completely drained creatively, I've finally *touch wood* started writing again. It's in dribs and drabs, not the full on, type-like-a-banshee insanity of days of yore, but at least it's something. Once I get my momentum up, I have to decide which project to finish first and just bloody finish it. But for right now, I'm just happy there's something there.

I think that's all of my updatiness for now. I have a million things to do right now, but I'm too cold and tired and hungry to want to do anything other than climb under the covers and nap away the afternoon. Possibly tea could help with this. God, I miss tea.

A Big Update Post

Wow. Need to blog more.

So, I found a place. It's a great place, a huge house in Hove and I think there are eleven of us living here (there may be more; it's all a bit of a mystery). Our bedroom is massive and has bay windows, so until the beginning of May, I'll be pretending I have a lot more money than I do. We have to find a new place to live for May.

I also found a job - and got fired from it. I signed up with a recruitment agency and within a few hours of applying for this job, I had a call back and by the next day, an interview had been set up. The job, as the recruitment agent described it to me, was to call supporters of charities, thank them for their support and ask if they would be comfortable switching the payments they're already making to direct debit. So I went to the interview It lasted two and a half hours and during it I found out that what the job *actually* was was calling people to ask for money, but only at a level they felt comfortable giving and it was definitely not pushy or salesy. I found out a couple days later that I had the job.

The first two days of work were training. Day one, myself and the 7 other people who got hired with me talked with a couple of the supervisors about what charities are, what our role was, etc. I really hate call centres, but the environment seemed really warm and friendly and I liked the way they did things. Over and over again, one of our 'coaches' kept telling us, when we ask for money, it's ok if the supporter says no. They don't have to justify it to us. They don't have to give reasons. If they say no, we simply thank them for their support and move on*. We weren't there to push people or guilt people.

Day two, we spent the morning learning the computer system and the afternoon looking at scripts. The scripts, at first glance, consisted of Thank you for your help, the world is an awful place, we can do something to fix it, more money? - the particular one I spent my brief time at the company calling on started by asking people to triple the amount of money they were already paying monthly. When they say no (which 99% do, because it's RIDICULOUS to call people who are giving you money and ask them to send you three times more), the script goes to the 'second ask' which is basically: I understand you can't afford that much, the world is a horrible place, we can fix it, please can I have twice as much money as you're currently paying? There are other options, of course, like, 'I understand you're on a pension and supporting eight other charities, babies are dying in the streets, please can we have more money? - But even reading through these insane scripts, we were told, over and over, that if they flat out say they can`t afford it, or if they tell you at the beginning that no, they will not increase their payments, that`s fine. Leave it alone. Don`t upset them. Etc, etc.

The other thing they told us on Day 2, was that we should be nice to each other. We should not brag about the number of pledges we`re getting or be all pitying and sympathetic to those getting less than us. If we had a bad day, we should not sigh and moan, because we`re a team and we don`t want to bring each other down.


Day 3, we actually started calling. Pretty much the first thing they did was march out a big board where they wrote down how many pledges we were each getting. It of course included the people who had been there six weeks longer than us, so the newbies looked a little sad and inept on that board, but we trudged on.

Each day, the approach changed slightly. Suddenly, it was no longer, If they say no, that`s fine. Suddenly, just saying No meant they were waffling a bit and could be persuaded to up their donations. Suddenly, the justifications and reasons for not being able to increase (which people, particularly older people, feel obliged to give when you tell them the world is coming to an end and children and puppies are dying and it`s all going to be their fault if they don`t help) are excuses - and the same nice, friendly people who told us not to push, not to be salesy, that supporters don`t have to justify themselves to us are saying that most people could afford a few extra quid a month, if they really wanted to... and isn`t it annoying how supporters lie about why they aren`t giving more?

So, to be honest, I fully intended to find something else, then quit. But, in the meantime, I decided to do my job to the best of my ability, as much as I hated it, because I was being paid to. So I negotiated as much as I could (morally could, I mean. There is a limit to how far I`m willing to go for money and making people who spend their state pension on charities feel bad for the help they`re offering the world surpasses that limit), listened to the coaches`conflicting advice on how to get more pledges (Be more upbeat, be more urgent, be more indignant, be friendlier, speak lower, speak louder, slow it down, speak faster, be more familiar, be more professional, put more passion into it, be more confident), tried to follow what I could when it didn`t directly conflict with something someone higher up had told me. I was a good little worker bee and put up with them coming and pulling the same demoralizing bullshit they had warned us against, smiled when they hovered behind me while I was on the phone and smiled when then asked me what went wrong if I didn`t get a pledge. I even, on my last night of work, kept my composure when one of the coaches came and told me everything I was doing wrong on a call where I got a pledge, then came back to gloat about how her advice had helped me get another pledge (even though I hadn`t followed it because it went against the only advice I`d been given which had actually helped) - I smiled through all of it... and for my troubles, I was fired.

They weren`t even going to tell me. The lazy bastards were going to wait until I had walked into town for my next shift (yesterday morning) to let me know I`d been sacked. The only reason I found out is that they did tell my recruitment agent, and she decided it might be nice to call me and let me know, so I wouldn`t waste my time slogging into work.

So now I need to start looking for something new. Le Blah. I was going to anyway, but this puts a little more pressure on, money-wise. Boo to the urns.

So, the job hunt and house hunt resume. Also, I have a million to write.

Also, I remain happy and smiling. Nothing seems to be able to keep me down for long - *knock on wood*


*The company I was working for works on behalf of a number of very well known charities, though I can't tell you their names or the company's name; confidentiality agreement.

House Hunting

From what I can gather, British TV falls into 4 categories: Antiques, Cooking, Property and Col. Gaddafi*.

The shows about property always amaze me. You get this middle class British family saying, "Well, we don't really want to go over 800,000 pounds." WhereTF did you get 800,000 pounds? WHERE? Minimum wage here is less than in Canada, and it seems like every one is getting laid off or having their jobs cut. I want 800 K. It would make my life so much easier.

At the moment (well, not right at the moment, since right at the moment, I'm writing this blog) I'm looking for a place. Finding cheap accommodation in a place like Brighton definitely isn't easy, but it's not as hard as, say, finding cheap accommodation with its own w.c. British people share these, it seems. Also, they often share shower rooms. It's a strange ol' world.

Brighton remains lovely and life remains wonderful, despite my still not being able to work and my being rather sick (I've been sick for days. I don't like it). It seems like I'm always fuzzy headed, either from the drugs or the lack thereof, but everything will be worked out soon, I know it (*knock on wood*)

Ok, cutting this short. I'm going to get myself into trouble if I spend the day in bed and blogging, so it's back to the house hunt for me.



*Also East Enders.

England is everything I could have hoped for, Brighton especially. I love the old buildings, the melancholy feeling in the air when it is cloudy, the remnants of camping and beaches and old fairs when there is sun.

I love the fashion here. Everyone is fashion conscious, which isn't to say they're well-dressed, but you can tell that time and consideration went into the choosing of every outfit, even the ugly ones. Still, there's a laid back feeling to it; these people dress the way they do not because it is popular, but because the genuinely want to look good.

I was a lot more impressed with central London than I was expecting to be. Maybe because we were there later in the evening or because of the time of year, but I didn't see any of the dirty, overcrowded mess that I had anticipated. It's lovely, incomparable to anything we have in Canada. Not somewhere I would live, given my dislike of people, but still somewhere I can see myself spending a lot of time quite happily.

I could write endlessly, I really could, but right now there's just way too much to see and do, so I'm cutting this short for the moment. More to follow, I'm sure.

Surreality

So I'm sitting at work for the last time, listening to classical music and thinking. I've got two hours left. Hard to believe after nearly 6 months working here.

Something has occurred to me over the past couple of days. I have had 10+ish jobs over the past 10 years and this is the only one that I've actually been sorry about leaving. Of course, I love that I'm going, and I LOVE why I'm going, but it's still going to be hard to say goodbye to this place and the people that make it what it is.

In some ways it feels like I've been here much longer than six months and in some ways it feels like I just got here. I can still clearly remember the 3 day bus ride, my first night in town, spent in room 120, my first nights in Cave Hell, all of it, really, from the summer. I remember being taken on a tour of the town, and, of course, meeting this intelligent, gorgeous man and agonizing over how I would ever get up the courage to ask him out :) It's forever ago and five minutes. Time is definitely malfunctioning here.

I have so much to do today. Most of it is laundry, some of it is packing and a fair bit will be deciding what stuff to donate to charity and what to do with things like that bigass painting that I did in (I'm going to say September, but I'm not sure). Somewhere in there, I need to have a nap, go to the gym, take down the Xmas tree, hopefully go to the bank, head to the post office. Then wings tonight and sushi tomorrow... and then it's off to Edmonton, early, early Friday morning.

It's a whirlwind. Even this shift, which consisted of one phone call, which I transferred, zoomed right by. I remember once, when I was little, we went camping and when I got into bed, I closed my eyes and counted to three. I don't know why I counted to three, but when I opened my eyes, it was morning. The whole night went by in 1... 2... 3. This feels kind of like that. In three seconds, I could be stepping into the arrivals area of the airport. Unbelievable, but deeply wonderful.

Valentine's Day

I figured I should write my Valentine's day post now, while I'm thinking about it, since I'm going to be way to busy, come the actual day.

I didn't used to be the biggest fan of Valentine's day. It's always struck me as kind of a weird holiday, way too commercial and based way too much of people's insecurities and fear of being alone.

BUT, since this Valentine's day will be nothing short of magical (I'll be landing in the U.K., after over 100 days of waiting* :), I'm a lot more pro V-day than I have been in the past. I am, of course, really looking forward to it this year. Of course, I would be anyway, even if to everyone else in the world, it was just another Monday.

AND (since we're starting whole paragraphs with conjunctions), on top of the impending wonderfulness of February 14th, I found the above Valentines here. I'm having to work very hard indeed not to buy them. Very hard.

Also, The Scientist is on the radio. ♥ overload.

*!!!!! :D ♥ !!!!!

Flesh for Fantasy = Never Changing the Radio Station

At work and nothing much to report. It is Rtardedly hot in here, and I am absolutely melting. Either there is something very wrong with my ability to regulate my body temperature or something wrong with all (3) of the buildings that I spend time in. I'm always either freezing cold or sweating buckets. Blah.

I love that my only complaints in life at the moment are tied to body temperature. Everything else is going wonderfully right now (*KNOCK ON WOOD!!!!!*) I leave Canada in a few short weeks and I think this is easily the most excited I've ever been about anything, ever.

I'm starting to stress a little, but it's all self-inflicted stress, brought on my guilt when I'm procrastinating and know I shouldn't be and it's easily overcome.

I'm going to miss this place; I have a great job, I've made some great friends and I live in a beautiful national park - but I'm really looking forward to seeing everyone back home that I haven't seen in 5.5+ months and I'm really looking forward to the part that comes after that, the end of the 108 day wait, when I'll fall into a state of ridiculous happiness which will somehow contrive to surpass what I'm feeling now.

:(

I'm using that face, 'cause there isn't a universally recognized I just vomited in my own mouth emoticon, and profound sadness at the situation is the runner up emotion. Soon after I got to work, this guy called, sounding fairly distraught and mumbling, then said something like, "Just let me put this down", set the phone down and proceeded to jerk off audibly. Yeah, perfect way to start my night. I'm terrified to answer the phone now. Apparently, he used to do this fairly frequently (I'm assuming it's the same guy), but stopped sometime before I started working here 5 months ago* and picked tonight to start up again. I tried to star 69 him, but it didn't work. Ugh. I so do not need this shit. I mean, honestly, why can't he just watch porn like everyone else?

Between that and learning about Bridalplasty, which is just a horribly depressing statement on the condition of the world, this hasn't been the greatest night ever. Dumb crap like this should not be getting to me, but for whatever reason, it is tonight.

I didn't make it to the gym tonight, and I really need to. I realized today that I haven't been since before Christmas. Not good.

On a much happier note, it's officially Jan 11. The past couple weeks have zoomed by... I can already feel the (comparatively) warm English rain on my face, smell airport smells and see London. I am so there.

*Hey, 5 months ago today - well, yesterday, but today for me... or something.

2011 Plans & Resolutions

I seem to switch back and forth between two opinions on New Years resolutions. Some years, I make tonnes (for 2009, I made 53 - I think I kept 2) and some years, I think it's stupid to need an excuse to do something that you should be doing anyway - IE: why would you wait until January to start going to the gym or quit smoking or start pottery lessons, or whatever it is that you're planning to do?

This year, well, I only really had one resolution, and I took care of it before 2011 started; I've already bought my plane ticket :) The past few months, I've filled this blog with allusions and (very) thinly veiled hints, so I thought today, as the first day of 2011 (I know, it's technically the second. I work graveyard. Sue me.), I would clarify a few things.

The countdown on the side of my blog is to Valentine's day, which just so happens, is the day I land(♥!). I'm going to the UK, where I plan to be blissfully (possibly even ridiculously) happy. I don't have a job yet, or a place to live, or a concrete plan for either of those things, and I'm not worried. I'll find a job, day to day life will be difficult for a while, pinching pennies will be an understatement of the necessary budgeting, I'll be poor. Poor and happy.

This reminds me of being a little kid on one of our roadtripesque* family vacations, bouncing up and down in the back seat, praying to some nameless higher power that soon, we'd just bloody get there. Although, when I was a kid, I was excited but also sullen and angry and impatient and now I'm pretty much just excited and impatient.

So, now to the planning. I have a million to do, and not too much time to do it in (see the counter). Time for more lists. :)

*On normal road trips, my understanding is that you stop and sleep occasionally, instead of driving for 18-26 hours nonstop.

Books and Other Stuff

In a couple of minutes, I'll have to start my night audit, but until that happens...

I made an account on LibraryThing tonight and merrily went about cataloguing all the books in my library - only to discover that I can't remember what books I own. At least not all of them. The other thing I discovered is that I own a lot of Heinlein, more than any other author. It's weird because as much as I like his work, he's maybe my second or third favourite author. Also, I'm not a huge science fiction fan in general.

This has got me thinking about my travel plans and my mini library, and how, for the time being, I will have to pack it up and store it - which isn't a huge deal; it's just that I have to find somewhere to store it, where it will be safe from water and extreme temperatures and my Dad*. My parents have been storing so much of my stuff for so long, I hate to ask them to hold onto anything, but if I follow my plan of reducing my possessions to 6 Rubbermaid containers, maybe they won't mind so much.

I still haven't made a list of the stories I want to focus on. I need to do that ASAP, because until I do, I'm just going to be writing little bits and pieces of everything and not getting anything done. Ugh.

I have a million lists to write (and more importantly, execute) and I have no idea where to start. I'm too bloody excited to focus on anything for more than a few minutes and it seems like whenever I say to myself "You're going to do it right now", something else comes up. IE: I could start making lists at this very moment, and would be making myself, but I have to start my paperwork for the night audit. I'm not complaining, exactly. I'm too happy to complain about much of anything - I'm more just thinking out loud (there needs to be a term for when you're doing this with text. Thinking out text or typing out loud or something).

Anyway, night audit time. Then, post night audit, list making time.

*My Dad loves to read, but he and I have a different philosophy on the value of books. He seems to think that their only value is in being read, so as long as you can continue to read them, everything's good. I agree that books are meant to be read, but I think when they're not being read, they should be on a shelf somewhere, rather than propped open on a nightstand, with a the front cover bent back in the bathroom or on the floor beside the bed.

A Happy Christmas to You

This picture creeps me out for a few reasons, not the least of which being that the birds in it seem to each have four legs. I thought it was fitting for the last in my miniseries of Creepy Holiday Art from Yesteryear.

Anywhom, MERRY CHRISTMAS! I woke up at 5:30 in the morning, bursting with excitement, and, because I couldn't wait any more, opened my stocking. My cousin texted my sister and I at twenty to seven, so since Rhiannon was awake anyway after that, we opened our presents while it was still dark out. I texted out my Merry Xmas message, figuring that it would be late enough in Ontario - and not remembering that not everyone I know is in that time zone. I think I woke a few people up.

Now I'm crazy tired and don't really want to bake pies, but want to eat pies later.

I got a lot of cool stuff, which I want to list, and might, when I am not so ass-tired.

I finished Siddhartha on the 23rd and loved it.

Now I'm going to cut this short, because I work tonight and need to make pies... and really want to sleep. A lot.

Another Post Called :)

My surprise came today! Actually, I'm going to keep this post fairly short because my surprise was a book* and I'd like to get back to reading it.

It came wrapped in wonderful book-covered paper, with a wonderful note from a wonderful man. I may overdose on wonderful by the end of the day :)

The book is Hermann Hesse's Siddhartha. The simplest way I can describe it is to say it's about the title character's quest for enlightenment/Nirvana/inner peace - but really, you should read it for yourself, because I can't really do it justice. Anyway, I'm thoroughly enjoying it.

I'm a little under half-way done and, as I've said, would like to get back to reading it, so this is where I cut my post short. My advice, dear reader, is, if you haven't already, go and track down a copy and start reading it as soon as possible.

Also, I read one of those lists that they put up on MSN occasionally a few days ago. This one was What Not to Buy Your Man for Christmas or something equally lame, and it recommended against giving books as gifts. Such a load of crap. I think books are among the best gifts a person can get - this one especially.

*I've been in suspense about this surprise for what seems like ever. My one and only guess about what it could possibly be was this book. So glad I was right.

Merry Xmas!

I'm too lazy to find another public domain Xmas picture, so I'm reusing this terrifying snowman that I dug up for my Devereaux Court Christmas post. Now that I'm thinking about it, though, he kind of clashes with my blog. Oh well.

I know it's officially over, but happy Solstice anyway. Also, Merry Christmas (or whatever winter holiday you celebrate) and Happy New Year.

I'm supposed to be going snowboarding tomorrow, but considering I'm ass-tired, kind of sick and have sore ankles, and I won't be able to sleep between now and then, I may well skip it. I don't know. I'm undecided.

We have to listen to Christmas music at work. If we change the station, we get fired. I may kill someone.

I didn't make it to the post office today to check for my surprise :( I woke up way later than I intended to, after the post office was closed. If I snowboard tomorrow, I won't be able to go until Thursday. Blah.

I ordered a camera last night and my credit card-bank card hybrid was a bag of dicks, so the payment hasn't gone through yet, so they haven't shipped it yet, so I won't be getting it before Christmas, which sucks, but isn't a huge deal. Anyway, it's cute and pink. I would put a picture, but my browser is being a bag of dicks as well.

There were other Christmasy things I wanted to mention, but I don't remember what they are, so I guess this will be the end of my xmas post. If I think of anything else, I'll tack it onto the bottom.

:)

Possibly this is my 800th post titled :) I blame it on the fact that I can't stop smiling. Honestly, I look through old blog entries, mentioning how I just feel off or through my old notebooks, where, unconsciously, I've written things like I hate my life and I actually can't remember feeling that way. I know I did. I remember the events or the existence of the emotions, but the feelings are completely gone. Right now, I'm smiling and it seems like I always have been.

Christmas is coming and I'm not going home for the first time in my life - but I'm actually not too upset about it. I'll hang out with Spooey, work, probably have a holiday drink. Nothing terribly exciting, just a nice, quiet Christmas.

(It's 2:00am, so I'm sending good wishes for good luck.)

I've started working on another new story. I really like the idea of this one a lot, but I feel guilty when I work on it, because really, I should be: finishing Caution and Creep, editing Caution and Creep, editing Emmeline, writing Little 15, editing Sunshine, writing 200 Pages, writing The Things That Aren't, writing Sugar Dust, rewriting Taken, rewriting The Inn at Night or working on a million other stories that are in Title Limbo at the moment. But the new one has Death in (the character), and I like it. Maybe I should make a list, pick 5 and only work on them, until I'm done. Caution and Creep has got to be up there... I've had readers waiting for over 2 years.

I had pizza today. Bad idea.

Ok, it's ten after two, so I'mna make me some hot chocolate and start the night audit.

Have a wonderful day, people.

Good Morning!

I'm at work and really should be working, but instead I'm blogging and waiting for my fingernails to dry.

I spent the first chunk of my shift going over the eight or so pages of 200 Pages that I've completed. Honestly, if I wasn't so burnt out from eleven eleven wish, I think I could finish it in a couple of night shifts - certainly within a month, because unlike eleven eleven, I can just produce word vomit, not edit it, and as long as I include all the necessary scenes, leave it at that - although, now that I've said that, I do feel like I should get my MC pinned down a little better -then maybe I'll get drunk and channel her for a few days.

Also, I finally finished part 12 of Little 15, which is going to end up being a novella, instead of a short story (it was revised to 'short story' after I realized that my original oneshot had taken two chapters to finish).

Caution and Creep is still looming over me and 56,000 words in, I kind of feel like a tool for shelving it. Also, I shelved it in November of 2008; I really ought to finish it. There's too much to deal with, story-wise, and it would really be stressing me out, if anything other than my desire to be elsewhere ever stressed me out these days.

I'm getting a surprise! It's coming on either Thursday or Friday (or maybe Monday, given our wonderful postal system) and I'm super excited. I want it now! But I'm getting good at acting patient; waiting for wonderful things is a big part of my day-to-day :) Also, my family sent my and my sister's xmas presents today, so we should be getting them sometime in the next week or two. We have to send their stuff tomorrow.

Clayton leaves tomorrow (well, I guess today - actually in less than three hours) for Ontario. He was supposed to leave a couple of days ago, but he decided to fly instead of bussing it, so we got him for a few more days. It sucks that he's going, but I know that I'll see him pretty soon - and he's going to be happy where he's going, and that's all I could wish for any of my friends.

Ok, my nails are dry and it's after 3:30 in the morning, so I should probably start doing some actual work now. Ooh, then two days off!