So I've started working on the outline and character sketches for NaNoWriMo 2011. It is going to be one incredibly effed up story, but hopefully a little amazing as well.
I've also been trying to update devereaux court a lot this month because I think it needs to be updated at least three times a week if we ever want it to get serious readership.
I think that's about it. There's work stuff in there, somewhere, but it's a nice day and I want to go to the beach and not think about jobs and boring crap like that.
The end, for now.
Showing posts with label writing. Show all posts
Showing posts with label writing. Show all posts
Friday, August 5, 2011
Monday, June 20, 2011
Another Big Update
As you can see, I've redone the blog again - or, I should say, I'm in the process of redoing it now. I need a new background, and to add some new pages (and fix the T shirts page) but I'm almost done, for now. I'll probably redo it again in a couple of months, when I have the energy to go in and fiddle with the code.
What else? We moved out of our house and into another at the beginning of May. This place is really small and a million miles away from everything; thankfully, we'll be moving on soon. I'm so tired of moving, but there isn't much for it.
I'm working (finally!) at a pizza place, which is a little embarrassing but ultimately not as bad as it sounds. There are parts of my job that drive me insane, but it's pretty much just a job. Most of the guys there (there are, counting the one that started this week, 5 girls that work there, and over 20 guys) are nice enough. Some are ridiculous and seem to think that because I'm new/female, I'm a) a complete idiot and b) should not be doing anything but bitch work. Luckily, they're in the minority. I really like my bosses, but I wish they would explain to me who is a supervisor and who isn't, so I know who I can tell to stuff it when they wordlessly shove a broom in my face.
In the land of men, I'm perfectly happy with the one I've got... which means that Murphy's Law comes into affect and despite not having gone on a single date during my adulthood pre-M., and despite only being asked out twice between the ages of 16 and 23, I have now, it seems, become a hot commodity. Well. This is a huge exaggeration. But after many years of guys showing next-to-no interest in me, it's really weird. Guys flirt with me on the phone and in person, ask me out, tell me how wonderful I am, despite not really knowing me... call me at really inappropriate times of night, despite knowing that I have a boyfriend... act really awkward around me the next day, as if my annoyance was unjustified... Anyway, even the harmless niceness makes me a bit uncomfortable. And it does, I have to admit, make me wonder where the hell all these guys were from, say ages 12-15 and 16-23. Not that I wish they'd been around; I'm annoyed for my past self, but for my current self, I'm glad they didn't show up.
After what seems like an eternity of being completely drained creatively, I've finally *touch wood* started writing again. It's in dribs and drabs, not the full on, type-like-a-banshee insanity of days of yore, but at least it's something. Once I get my momentum up, I have to decide which project to finish first and just bloody finish it. But for right now, I'm just happy there's something there.
I think that's all of my updatiness for now. I have a million things to do right now, but I'm too cold and tired and hungry to want to do anything other than climb under the covers and nap away the afternoon. Possibly tea could help with this. God, I miss tea.
What else? We moved out of our house and into another at the beginning of May. This place is really small and a million miles away from everything; thankfully, we'll be moving on soon. I'm so tired of moving, but there isn't much for it.
I'm working (finally!) at a pizza place, which is a little embarrassing but ultimately not as bad as it sounds. There are parts of my job that drive me insane, but it's pretty much just a job. Most of the guys there (there are, counting the one that started this week, 5 girls that work there, and over 20 guys) are nice enough. Some are ridiculous and seem to think that because I'm new/female, I'm a) a complete idiot and b) should not be doing anything but bitch work. Luckily, they're in the minority. I really like my bosses, but I wish they would explain to me who is a supervisor and who isn't, so I know who I can tell to stuff it when they wordlessly shove a broom in my face.
In the land of men, I'm perfectly happy with the one I've got... which means that Murphy's Law comes into affect and despite not having gone on a single date during my adulthood pre-M., and despite only being asked out twice between the ages of 16 and 23, I have now, it seems, become a hot commodity. Well. This is a huge exaggeration. But after many years of guys showing next-to-no interest in me, it's really weird. Guys flirt with me on the phone and in person, ask me out, tell me how wonderful I am, despite not really knowing me... call me at really inappropriate times of night, despite knowing that I have a boyfriend... act really awkward around me the next day, as if my annoyance was unjustified... Anyway, even the harmless niceness makes me a bit uncomfortable. And it does, I have to admit, make me wonder where the hell all these guys were from, say ages 12-15 and 16-23. Not that I wish they'd been around; I'm annoyed for my past self, but for my current self, I'm glad they didn't show up.
After what seems like an eternity of being completely drained creatively, I've finally *touch wood* started writing again. It's in dribs and drabs, not the full on, type-like-a-banshee insanity of days of yore, but at least it's something. Once I get my momentum up, I have to decide which project to finish first and just bloody finish it. But for right now, I'm just happy there's something there.
I think that's all of my updatiness for now. I have a million things to do right now, but I'm too cold and tired and hungry to want to do anything other than climb under the covers and nap away the afternoon. Possibly tea could help with this. God, I miss tea.
Thursday, April 14, 2011
A Big Update Post
Wow. Need to blog more.
So, I found a place. It's a great place, a huge house in Hove and I think there are eleven of us living here (there may be more; it's all a bit of a mystery). Our bedroom is massive and has bay windows, so until the beginning of May, I'll be pretending I have a lot more money than I do. We have to find a new place to live for May.
I also found a job - and got fired from it. I signed up with a recruitment agency and within a few hours of applying for this job, I had a call back and by the next day, an interview had been set up. The job, as the recruitment agent described it to me, was to call supporters of charities, thank them for their support and ask if they would be comfortable switching the payments they're already making to direct debit. So I went to the interview It lasted two and a half hours and during it I found out that what the job *actually* was was calling people to ask for money, but only at a level they felt comfortable giving and it was definitely not pushy or salesy. I found out a couple days later that I had the job.
The first two days of work were training. Day one, myself and the 7 other people who got hired with me talked with a couple of the supervisors about what charities are, what our role was, etc. I really hate call centres, but the environment seemed really warm and friendly and I liked the way they did things. Over and over again, one of our 'coaches' kept telling us, when we ask for money, it's ok if the supporter says no. They don't have to justify it to us. They don't have to give reasons. If they say no, we simply thank them for their support and move on*. We weren't there to push people or guilt people.
Day two, we spent the morning learning the computer system and the afternoon looking at scripts. The scripts, at first glance, consisted of Thank you for your help, the world is an awful place, we can do something to fix it, more money? - the particular one I spent my brief time at the company calling on started by asking people to triple the amount of money they were already paying monthly. When they say no (which 99% do, because it's RIDICULOUS to call people who are giving you money and ask them to send you three times more), the script goes to the 'second ask' which is basically: I understand you can't afford that much, the world is a horrible place, we can fix it, please can I have twice as much money as you're currently paying? There are other options, of course, like, 'I understand you're on a pension and supporting eight other charities, babies are dying in the streets, please can we have more money? - But even reading through these insane scripts, we were told, over and over, that if they flat out say they can`t afford it, or if they tell you at the beginning that no, they will not increase their payments, that`s fine. Leave it alone. Don`t upset them. Etc, etc.
The other thing they told us on Day 2, was that we should be nice to each other. We should not brag about the number of pledges we`re getting or be all pitying and sympathetic to those getting less than us. If we had a bad day, we should not sigh and moan, because we`re a team and we don`t want to bring each other down.
Day 3, we actually started calling. Pretty much the first thing they did was march out a big board where they wrote down how many pledges we were each getting. It of course included the people who had been there six weeks longer than us, so the newbies looked a little sad and inept on that board, but we trudged on.
Each day, the approach changed slightly. Suddenly, it was no longer, If they say no, that`s fine. Suddenly, just saying No meant they were waffling a bit and could be persuaded to up their donations. Suddenly, the justifications and reasons for not being able to increase (which people, particularly older people, feel obliged to give when you tell them the world is coming to an end and children and puppies are dying and it`s all going to be their fault if they don`t help) are excuses - and the same nice, friendly people who told us not to push, not to be salesy, that supporters don`t have to justify themselves to us are saying that most people could afford a few extra quid a month, if they really wanted to... and isn`t it annoying how supporters lie about why they aren`t giving more?
So, to be honest, I fully intended to find something else, then quit. But, in the meantime, I decided to do my job to the best of my ability, as much as I hated it, because I was being paid to. So I negotiated as much as I could (morally could, I mean. There is a limit to how far I`m willing to go for money and making people who spend their state pension on charities feel bad for the help they`re offering the world surpasses that limit), listened to the coaches`conflicting advice on how to get more pledges (Be more upbeat, be more urgent, be more indignant, be friendlier, speak lower, speak louder, slow it down, speak faster, be more familiar, be more professional, put more passion into it, be more confident), tried to follow what I could when it didn`t directly conflict with something someone higher up had told me. I was a good little worker bee and put up with them coming and pulling the same demoralizing bullshit they had warned us against, smiled when they hovered behind me while I was on the phone and smiled when then asked me what went wrong if I didn`t get a pledge. I even, on my last night of work, kept my composure when one of the coaches came and told me everything I was doing wrong on a call where I got a pledge, then came back to gloat about how her advice had helped me get another pledge (even though I hadn`t followed it because it went against the only advice I`d been given which had actually helped) - I smiled through all of it... and for my troubles, I was fired.
They weren`t even going to tell me. The lazy bastards were going to wait until I had walked into town for my next shift (yesterday morning) to let me know I`d been sacked. The only reason I found out is that they did tell my recruitment agent, and she decided it might be nice to call me and let me know, so I wouldn`t waste my time slogging into work.
So now I need to start looking for something new. Le Blah. I was going to anyway, but this puts a little more pressure on, money-wise. Boo to the urns.
So, the job hunt and house hunt resume. Also, I have a million to write.
Also, I remain happy and smiling. Nothing seems to be able to keep me down for long - *knock on wood*
*The company I was working for works on behalf of a number of very well known charities, though I can't tell you their names or the company's name; confidentiality agreement.
So, I found a place. It's a great place, a huge house in Hove and I think there are eleven of us living here (there may be more; it's all a bit of a mystery). Our bedroom is massive and has bay windows, so until the beginning of May, I'll be pretending I have a lot more money than I do. We have to find a new place to live for May.
I also found a job - and got fired from it. I signed up with a recruitment agency and within a few hours of applying for this job, I had a call back and by the next day, an interview had been set up. The job, as the recruitment agent described it to me, was to call supporters of charities, thank them for their support and ask if they would be comfortable switching the payments they're already making to direct debit. So I went to the interview It lasted two and a half hours and during it I found out that what the job *actually* was was calling people to ask for money, but only at a level they felt comfortable giving and it was definitely not pushy or salesy. I found out a couple days later that I had the job.
The first two days of work were training. Day one, myself and the 7 other people who got hired with me talked with a couple of the supervisors about what charities are, what our role was, etc. I really hate call centres, but the environment seemed really warm and friendly and I liked the way they did things. Over and over again, one of our 'coaches' kept telling us, when we ask for money, it's ok if the supporter says no. They don't have to justify it to us. They don't have to give reasons. If they say no, we simply thank them for their support and move on*. We weren't there to push people or guilt people.
Day two, we spent the morning learning the computer system and the afternoon looking at scripts. The scripts, at first glance, consisted of Thank you for your help, the world is an awful place, we can do something to fix it, more money? - the particular one I spent my brief time at the company calling on started by asking people to triple the amount of money they were already paying monthly. When they say no (which 99% do, because it's RIDICULOUS to call people who are giving you money and ask them to send you three times more), the script goes to the 'second ask' which is basically: I understand you can't afford that much, the world is a horrible place, we can fix it, please can I have twice as much money as you're currently paying? There are other options, of course, like, 'I understand you're on a pension and supporting eight other charities, babies are dying in the streets, please can we have more money? - But even reading through these insane scripts, we were told, over and over, that if they flat out say they can`t afford it, or if they tell you at the beginning that no, they will not increase their payments, that`s fine. Leave it alone. Don`t upset them. Etc, etc.
The other thing they told us on Day 2, was that we should be nice to each other. We should not brag about the number of pledges we`re getting or be all pitying and sympathetic to those getting less than us. If we had a bad day, we should not sigh and moan, because we`re a team and we don`t want to bring each other down.
Day 3, we actually started calling. Pretty much the first thing they did was march out a big board where they wrote down how many pledges we were each getting. It of course included the people who had been there six weeks longer than us, so the newbies looked a little sad and inept on that board, but we trudged on.
Each day, the approach changed slightly. Suddenly, it was no longer, If they say no, that`s fine. Suddenly, just saying No meant they were waffling a bit and could be persuaded to up their donations. Suddenly, the justifications and reasons for not being able to increase (which people, particularly older people, feel obliged to give when you tell them the world is coming to an end and children and puppies are dying and it`s all going to be their fault if they don`t help) are excuses - and the same nice, friendly people who told us not to push, not to be salesy, that supporters don`t have to justify themselves to us are saying that most people could afford a few extra quid a month, if they really wanted to... and isn`t it annoying how supporters lie about why they aren`t giving more?
So, to be honest, I fully intended to find something else, then quit. But, in the meantime, I decided to do my job to the best of my ability, as much as I hated it, because I was being paid to. So I negotiated as much as I could (morally could, I mean. There is a limit to how far I`m willing to go for money and making people who spend their state pension on charities feel bad for the help they`re offering the world surpasses that limit), listened to the coaches`conflicting advice on how to get more pledges (Be more upbeat, be more urgent, be more indignant, be friendlier, speak lower, speak louder, slow it down, speak faster, be more familiar, be more professional, put more passion into it, be more confident), tried to follow what I could when it didn`t directly conflict with something someone higher up had told me. I was a good little worker bee and put up with them coming and pulling the same demoralizing bullshit they had warned us against, smiled when they hovered behind me while I was on the phone and smiled when then asked me what went wrong if I didn`t get a pledge. I even, on my last night of work, kept my composure when one of the coaches came and told me everything I was doing wrong on a call where I got a pledge, then came back to gloat about how her advice had helped me get another pledge (even though I hadn`t followed it because it went against the only advice I`d been given which had actually helped) - I smiled through all of it... and for my troubles, I was fired.
They weren`t even going to tell me. The lazy bastards were going to wait until I had walked into town for my next shift (yesterday morning) to let me know I`d been sacked. The only reason I found out is that they did tell my recruitment agent, and she decided it might be nice to call me and let me know, so I wouldn`t waste my time slogging into work.
So now I need to start looking for something new. Le Blah. I was going to anyway, but this puts a little more pressure on, money-wise. Boo to the urns.
So, the job hunt and house hunt resume. Also, I have a million to write.
Also, I remain happy and smiling. Nothing seems to be able to keep me down for long - *knock on wood*
*The company I was working for works on behalf of a number of very well known charities, though I can't tell you their names or the company's name; confidentiality agreement.
Monday, December 27, 2010
Books and Other Stuff
In a couple of minutes, I'll have to start my night audit, but until that happens...
I made an account on LibraryThing tonight and merrily went about cataloguing all the books in my library - only to discover that I can't remember what books I own. At least not all of them. The other thing I discovered is that I own a lot of Heinlein, more than any other author. It's weird because as much as I like his work, he's maybe my second or third favourite author. Also, I'm not a huge science fiction fan in general.
This has got me thinking about my travel plans and my mini library, and how, for the time being, I will have to pack it up and store it - which isn't a huge deal; it's just that I have to find somewhere to store it, where it will be safe from water and extreme temperatures and my Dad*. My parents have been storing so much of my stuff for so long, I hate to ask them to hold onto anything, but if I follow my plan of reducing my possessions to 6 Rubbermaid containers, maybe they won't mind so much.
I still haven't made a list of the stories I want to focus on. I need to do that ASAP, because until I do, I'm just going to be writing little bits and pieces of everything and not getting anything done. Ugh.
I have a million lists to write (and more importantly, execute) and I have no idea where to start. I'm too bloody excited to focus on anything for more than a few minutes and it seems like whenever I say to myself "You're going to do it right now", something else comes up. IE: I could start making lists at this very moment, and would be making myself, but I have to start my paperwork for the night audit. I'm not complaining, exactly. I'm too happy to complain about much of anything - I'm more just thinking out loud (there needs to be a term for when you're doing this with text. Thinking out text or typing out loud or something).
Anyway, night audit time. Then, post night audit, list making time.
*My Dad loves to read, but he and I have a different philosophy on the value of books. He seems to think that their only value is in being read, so as long as you can continue to read them, everything's good. I agree that books are meant to be read, but I think when they're not being read, they should be on a shelf somewhere, rather than propped open on a nightstand, with a the front cover bent back in the bathroom or on the floor beside the bed.
I made an account on LibraryThing tonight and merrily went about cataloguing all the books in my library - only to discover that I can't remember what books I own. At least not all of them. The other thing I discovered is that I own a lot of Heinlein, more than any other author. It's weird because as much as I like his work, he's maybe my second or third favourite author. Also, I'm not a huge science fiction fan in general.
This has got me thinking about my travel plans and my mini library, and how, for the time being, I will have to pack it up and store it - which isn't a huge deal; it's just that I have to find somewhere to store it, where it will be safe from water and extreme temperatures and my Dad*. My parents have been storing so much of my stuff for so long, I hate to ask them to hold onto anything, but if I follow my plan of reducing my possessions to 6 Rubbermaid containers, maybe they won't mind so much.
I still haven't made a list of the stories I want to focus on. I need to do that ASAP, because until I do, I'm just going to be writing little bits and pieces of everything and not getting anything done. Ugh.
I have a million lists to write (and more importantly, execute) and I have no idea where to start. I'm too bloody excited to focus on anything for more than a few minutes and it seems like whenever I say to myself "You're going to do it right now", something else comes up. IE: I could start making lists at this very moment, and would be making myself, but I have to start my paperwork for the night audit. I'm not complaining, exactly. I'm too happy to complain about much of anything - I'm more just thinking out loud (there needs to be a term for when you're doing this with text. Thinking out text or typing out loud or something).
Anyway, night audit time. Then, post night audit, list making time.
*My Dad loves to read, but he and I have a different philosophy on the value of books. He seems to think that their only value is in being read, so as long as you can continue to read them, everything's good. I agree that books are meant to be read, but I think when they're not being read, they should be on a shelf somewhere, rather than propped open on a nightstand, with a the front cover bent back in the bathroom or on the floor beside the bed.
Monday, December 20, 2010
:)
Possibly this is my 800th post titled :) I blame it on the fact that I can't stop smiling. Honestly, I look through old blog entries, mentioning how I just feel off or through my old notebooks, where, unconsciously, I've written things like I hate my life and I actually can't remember feeling that way. I know I did. I remember the events or the existence of the emotions, but the feelings are completely gone. Right now, I'm smiling and it seems like I always have been.
Christmas is coming and I'm not going home for the first time in my life - but I'm actually not too upset about it. I'll hang out with Spooey, work, probably have a holiday drink. Nothing terribly exciting, just a nice, quiet Christmas.
(It's 2:00am, so I'm sending good wishes for good luck.)
I've started working on another new story. I really like the idea of this one a lot, but I feel guilty when I work on it, because really, I should be: finishing Caution and Creep, editing Caution and Creep, editing Emmeline, writing Little 15, editing Sunshine, writing 200 Pages, writing The Things That Aren't, writing Sugar Dust, rewriting Taken, rewriting The Inn at Night or working on a million other stories that are in Title Limbo at the moment. But the new one has Death in (the character), and I like it. Maybe I should make a list, pick 5 and only work on them, until I'm done. Caution and Creep has got to be up there... I've had readers waiting for over 2 years.
I had pizza today. Bad idea.
Ok, it's ten after two, so I'mna make me some hot chocolate and start the night audit.
Have a wonderful day, people.
Christmas is coming and I'm not going home for the first time in my life - but I'm actually not too upset about it. I'll hang out with Spooey, work, probably have a holiday drink. Nothing terribly exciting, just a nice, quiet Christmas.
(It's 2:00am, so I'm sending good wishes for good luck.)
I've started working on another new story. I really like the idea of this one a lot, but I feel guilty when I work on it, because really, I should be: finishing Caution and Creep, editing Caution and Creep, editing Emmeline, writing Little 15, editing Sunshine, writing 200 Pages, writing The Things That Aren't, writing Sugar Dust, rewriting Taken, rewriting The Inn at Night or working on a million other stories that are in Title Limbo at the moment. But the new one has Death in (the character), and I like it. Maybe I should make a list, pick 5 and only work on them, until I'm done. Caution and Creep has got to be up there... I've had readers waiting for over 2 years.
I had pizza today. Bad idea.
Ok, it's ten after two, so I'mna make me some hot chocolate and start the night audit.
Have a wonderful day, people.
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
Black Nail Polish
I really should have a tag for nail polish, since so many of my posts lately seem to be brought on by waiting for it to dry. Today it's black. I remember when black nail polish was completely badass, something only skids (Skids were what happened twenty years after Punks, ten years before Goths, fifteen before Emo kids) wore. Now, it's more Hmm, that's not as sparkly as your other nail polish. Anyway, I like it.
I've been at work for a little over an hour, just kind of hanging out, working on yet another story idea. I really ought to finish the millions of stories I've started, and I likely will finish at least a few before this one goes anywhere - I'm mostly just trying to get down everything that's in my brain, then it will stay in my lovely notebook until, one day when I'm going through said notebook, I go, "hmm. That was going to be a story."
I need to get containers and pack up all of my stuff that's at my parents' house, and it's just occuring to me now that one whole container will probably have to be devoted to my notebooks. I have a ridiculous number, upwards of fifty, and I don't see myself wanting to part with any of them - plus, most of them are full of story ideas and the very beginnings of some of my stories (which reminds me, I need to find the pic that sparked Aigaion Girl), and I don't want to lose those. Ugh. I'm such a packrat sometimes.
I'm sort of zoning out mid-blog, so maybe I'll cut this short. I may come back to it later, though; I still have another hand to paint.
I've been at work for a little over an hour, just kind of hanging out, working on yet another story idea. I really ought to finish the millions of stories I've started, and I likely will finish at least a few before this one goes anywhere - I'm mostly just trying to get down everything that's in my brain, then it will stay in my lovely notebook until, one day when I'm going through said notebook, I go, "hmm. That was going to be a story."
I need to get containers and pack up all of my stuff that's at my parents' house, and it's just occuring to me now that one whole container will probably have to be devoted to my notebooks. I have a ridiculous number, upwards of fifty, and I don't see myself wanting to part with any of them - plus, most of them are full of story ideas and the very beginnings of some of my stories (which reminds me, I need to find the pic that sparked Aigaion Girl), and I don't want to lose those. Ugh. I'm such a packrat sometimes.
I'm sort of zoning out mid-blog, so maybe I'll cut this short. I may come back to it later, though; I still have another hand to paint.
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
Good Morning!
I'm at work and really should be working, but instead I'm blogging and waiting for my fingernails to dry.
I spent the first chunk of my shift going over the eight or so pages of 200 Pages that I've completed. Honestly, if I wasn't so burnt out from eleven eleven wish, I think I could finish it in a couple of night shifts - certainly within a month, because unlike eleven eleven, I can just produce word vomit, not edit it, and as long as I include all the necessary scenes, leave it at that - although, now that I've said that, I do feel like I should get my MC pinned down a little better -then maybe I'll get drunk and channel her for a few days.
Also, I finally finished part 12 of Little 15, which is going to end up being a novella, instead of a short story (it was revised to 'short story' after I realized that my original oneshot had taken two chapters to finish).
Caution and Creep is still looming over me and 56,000 words in, I kind of feel like a tool for shelving it. Also, I shelved it in November of 2008; I really ought to finish it. There's too much to deal with, story-wise, and it would really be stressing me out, if anything other than my desire to be elsewhere ever stressed me out these days.
I'm getting a surprise! It's coming on either Thursday or Friday (or maybe Monday, given our wonderful postal system) and I'm super excited. I want it now! But I'm getting good at acting patient; waiting for wonderful things is a big part of my day-to-day :) Also, my family sent my and my sister's xmas presents today, so we should be getting them sometime in the next week or two. We have to send their stuff tomorrow.
Clayton leaves tomorrow (well, I guess today - actually in less than three hours) for Ontario. He was supposed to leave a couple of days ago, but he decided to fly instead of bussing it, so we got him for a few more days. It sucks that he's going, but I know that I'll see him pretty soon - and he's going to be happy where he's going, and that's all I could wish for any of my friends.
Ok, my nails are dry and it's after 3:30 in the morning, so I should probably start doing some actual work now. Ooh, then two days off!
I spent the first chunk of my shift going over the eight or so pages of 200 Pages that I've completed. Honestly, if I wasn't so burnt out from eleven eleven wish, I think I could finish it in a couple of night shifts - certainly within a month, because unlike eleven eleven, I can just produce word vomit, not edit it, and as long as I include all the necessary scenes, leave it at that - although, now that I've said that, I do feel like I should get my MC pinned down a little better -then maybe I'll get drunk and channel her for a few days.
Also, I finally finished part 12 of Little 15, which is going to end up being a novella, instead of a short story (it was revised to 'short story' after I realized that my original oneshot had taken two chapters to finish).
Caution and Creep is still looming over me and 56,000 words in, I kind of feel like a tool for shelving it. Also, I shelved it in November of 2008; I really ought to finish it. There's too much to deal with, story-wise, and it would really be stressing me out, if anything other than my desire to be elsewhere ever stressed me out these days.
I'm getting a surprise! It's coming on either Thursday or Friday (or maybe Monday, given our wonderful postal system) and I'm super excited. I want it now! But I'm getting good at acting patient; waiting for wonderful things is a big part of my day-to-day :) Also, my family sent my and my sister's xmas presents today, so we should be getting them sometime in the next week or two. We have to send their stuff tomorrow.
Clayton leaves tomorrow (well, I guess today - actually in less than three hours) for Ontario. He was supposed to leave a couple of days ago, but he decided to fly instead of bussing it, so we got him for a few more days. It sucks that he's going, but I know that I'll see him pretty soon - and he's going to be happy where he's going, and that's all I could wish for any of my friends.
Ok, my nails are dry and it's after 3:30 in the morning, so I should probably start doing some actual work now. Ooh, then two days off!
Thursday, November 25, 2010
THIS STORY IS EATING MY BRAIN
Ok, that's a little melodramatic, maybe, but really, it's giving me some serious grief. Enough that I just used giving grief as an actual phrase, where people can read it. I don't know what it is. The ideas are there, the emotions are there, even the carefully detailed outline of what should happen next is there. What's missing is the words. They just. won't. flow.
I'm over 7000 words behind where I should be, and in two hours, I'm going to bed. Usually, a preset bedtime during NaNoWriMo would be a completely ludicrous concept, but I only slept for four hours this morning (not at all last night), and I'd like to get up nice and early for chattiness (♥).
So two hours to write at least 1053 words (this will bring me to 35,000), and I'm blogging... and I'm not even blogging about what I want to be blogging about, because I would much rather be making this post a series of little hearts and overly-girly expressions of happiness and excitement.
1 hour and 45 minutes, now. This isn't helping. Terrible as it is to say, I wish I'd gone to the liquor store while I was out today. I think a shot of anything would get this proplem sorted in a jiffy.
I'm over 7000 words behind where I should be, and in two hours, I'm going to bed. Usually, a preset bedtime during NaNoWriMo would be a completely ludicrous concept, but I only slept for four hours this morning (not at all last night), and I'd like to get up nice and early for chattiness (♥).
So two hours to write at least 1053 words (this will bring me to 35,000), and I'm blogging... and I'm not even blogging about what I want to be blogging about, because I would much rather be making this post a series of little hearts and overly-girly expressions of happiness and excitement.
1 hour and 45 minutes, now. This isn't helping. Terrible as it is to say, I wish I'd gone to the liquor store while I was out today. I think a shot of anything would get this proplem sorted in a jiffy.
Thursday, November 18, 2010
There are two things I could be doing right now. I should either be working on my NaNoWriMo story, which I'm nearly 2,000 words behind on, or I should be doing my paperwork for the night audit. Instead I'm drinking a can of tooth-disolving black cherry pop which has never even seen a cherry and eating a sandwhich. And thinking.
Mostly I'm thinking about how I'd love for a big pile of money to magically fall into my lap, so that I could avoid the upcoming months of waiting and skip right to the bit where I'm where I want to be (and, of course, with whom :)
I'm also thinking about how ridiculously lucky I am and praying that my karma is good enough that I'll keep being this lucky. I'm not usually one for praying, because I don`t know what I`m praying to, but for this, anything I can do is worth it. Besides, something clearly has my back :)
I finally did my budget... erm, either today, yesterday or the day before. Days get a little messed when you work nights. For example, it`s already tomorrow. Anyway, I did my budget for Xmas and the foreseeable months. It doesn`t look bad, but it doesn`t look as good as I`d like. I`m hoping I can find a second job soon. It`s so stupid, though; when I was looking for a full-time job, all I could find was part-time. Now I`m looking for something part time and everyone wants forty hours a week (everyone being the five places in town that are actually hiring). I`ll find something, I`m sure. Plus, now that I have Modo (new computer), I can start trolling Craigslist for design and layout work. Must be something there.
Ok, seriously, I need to work on this book and work on my work. It`s hard, though, when my mind is already thousands of miles away, months into the future. Ugh. Focus, Athena. Focus.
Mostly I'm thinking about how I'd love for a big pile of money to magically fall into my lap, so that I could avoid the upcoming months of waiting and skip right to the bit where I'm where I want to be (and, of course, with whom :)
Unrealted: Road to Nowhere just came on the radio. Seriously, never
changing this station. PS, does this song remind anyone else of the
starting sequence of the Beetlejuice cartoon, or is that just me?
I'm also thinking about how ridiculously lucky I am and praying that my karma is good enough that I'll keep being this lucky. I'm not usually one for praying, because I don`t know what I`m praying to, but for this, anything I can do is worth it. Besides, something clearly has my back :)
I finally did my budget... erm, either today, yesterday or the day before. Days get a little messed when you work nights. For example, it`s already tomorrow. Anyway, I did my budget for Xmas and the foreseeable months. It doesn`t look bad, but it doesn`t look as good as I`d like. I`m hoping I can find a second job soon. It`s so stupid, though; when I was looking for a full-time job, all I could find was part-time. Now I`m looking for something part time and everyone wants forty hours a week (everyone being the five places in town that are actually hiring). I`ll find something, I`m sure. Plus, now that I have Modo (new computer), I can start trolling Craigslist for design and layout work. Must be something there.
Ok, seriously, I need to work on this book and work on my work. It`s hard, though, when my mind is already thousands of miles away, months into the future. Ugh. Focus, Athena. Focus.
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
(honey) Bunches of Stuff (oats?)
My tooth is effing killing me. I'm going to the hospital tomorrow to beg them to do something about it. Pull it. Give me morphine. Anything. I've swallowed a ton of this oragel stuff, and it's starting to give me cramps. Plus, I'm pretty sure my kidneys are going to shut down if I take any more Tylenol. I've been waking up with a fever the past few days... I had hoped it was because of flu or something, but now I just think my tooth is infected.
What else? It's ten to four, so I should probably actually start working on the night audit. I've been writing. I'm at 11212 words for NaNoWriMo now, which is pretty good, considering that it's only the third and it's not even four am. I'm past the neccessary word count for day six. :) This story is turning out to be a lot darker, a lot less happy-go-lucky fluffy, than I originally planned. Also, if anyone's wondering, when you're sick, in pain, missing someone more than you thought humanly possible and your job doesn't let you see the sun, researching actual suicide notes online then going home and listening to Leona Lewis is a really, really dumb idea. Just sayin'.
I cleaned my room today. It took a lot of hours and my kitchen and the other room in my apartment (I picked the lock because the temp. control is in there and I was melting) are still piled with clothes and random junk, but I'm slowly sorting through it. My room looks pretty good, actually. A random fun fact: I have a really nice queen bed with lots of fluffy blankets and a synthetic down comforter and three pillows. I actually made my bed today - and I am sleeping on my smelly, second (third, fourth?)-hand love seat, with the Freddy Krugar blanket (just a blanket that someone hacked up for reasons unknown). Gah. My bed is just too big, now that I've taken the piles of clothes away.
OK. Actual work time. Maybe. In a minute.
What else? It's ten to four, so I should probably actually start working on the night audit. I've been writing. I'm at 11212 words for NaNoWriMo now, which is pretty good, considering that it's only the third and it's not even four am. I'm past the neccessary word count for day six. :) This story is turning out to be a lot darker, a lot less happy-go-lucky fluffy, than I originally planned. Also, if anyone's wondering, when you're sick, in pain, missing someone more than you thought humanly possible and your job doesn't let you see the sun, researching actual suicide notes online then going home and listening to Leona Lewis is a really, really dumb idea. Just sayin'.
I cleaned my room today. It took a lot of hours and my kitchen and the other room in my apartment (I picked the lock because the temp. control is in there and I was melting) are still piled with clothes and random junk, but I'm slowly sorting through it. My room looks pretty good, actually. A random fun fact: I have a really nice queen bed with lots of fluffy blankets and a synthetic down comforter and three pillows. I actually made my bed today - and I am sleeping on my smelly, second (third, fourth?)-hand love seat, with the Freddy Krugar blanket (just a blanket that someone hacked up for reasons unknown). Gah. My bed is just too big, now that I've taken the piles of clothes away.
OK. Actual work time. Maybe. In a minute.
Saturday, October 30, 2010
NaNoWriMo Starts in 3...2... Learn to Count, Athena
So, I came into work today (dressed as a sexy witch), all excited and thinking happily to myself that as of midnight, I could start work on eleven eleven wish. Because, as of midnight, it would officially be November 1.
Yeah, apparently not. At least now that it's after midnight, it actually is Halloween, so my sexy witchness isn't entirely without merit. The orange hair is serving me well tonight, let me tell you.... except I have to blame my inability to know what day it is on the fact that I'm working nights and have no sense of time, because I can no longer use the blonde cop out.
I had an interesting debate with our security guy about witches and witchcraft... still trying to figure out why he has no problem with water witches, but thinks that reading Tarot is bad. Whatever, I always enjoy messing with him, just a little bit.
I didn't do the zombie walk. I could have, but I had no one to go with, and when I walked past the group, I was kind of glad I skipped it - their costumes were a lot more elaborate than I could have bothered myself with right now. I'm staving off depression, forcing myself to go out and do things, to see the sun, etc., but that's about all I can manage right now. Sexy witch was a stretch for me, solidified by the fact that I would have had to wash my uniform in order to wear it.
So, less than 24 hours to NaNoWriMo 2010. So when I come to work "tomorrow", with all the stuff I had brought for tonight (notebook, 5 pages of outline, a pen), I can really get to work. Until then, I'll have to content myself with my frozen dinner and Halloween cupcakes.
Oh, and of course the fact that I have a chat date, which makes me incredibly happy.
:)
Yeah, apparently not. At least now that it's after midnight, it actually is Halloween, so my sexy witchness isn't entirely without merit. The orange hair is serving me well tonight, let me tell you.... except I have to blame my inability to know what day it is on the fact that I'm working nights and have no sense of time, because I can no longer use the blonde cop out.
I had an interesting debate with our security guy about witches and witchcraft... still trying to figure out why he has no problem with water witches, but thinks that reading Tarot is bad. Whatever, I always enjoy messing with him, just a little bit.
I didn't do the zombie walk. I could have, but I had no one to go with, and when I walked past the group, I was kind of glad I skipped it - their costumes were a lot more elaborate than I could have bothered myself with right now. I'm staving off depression, forcing myself to go out and do things, to see the sun, etc., but that's about all I can manage right now. Sexy witch was a stretch for me, solidified by the fact that I would have had to wash my uniform in order to wear it.
So, less than 24 hours to NaNoWriMo 2010. So when I come to work "tomorrow", with all the stuff I had brought for tonight (notebook, 5 pages of outline, a pen), I can really get to work. Until then, I'll have to content myself with my frozen dinner and Halloween cupcakes.
Oh, and of course the fact that I have a chat date, which makes me incredibly happy.
:)
NaNoWriMo '10
So NaNoWriMo starts in 2 days. Er, one day. Sorry; working nights effs with your brain's ability to know what day it is.
I won't have a computer until the end of next week at the earliest (probably a little later), so it looks like I'm going to be writing by hand for the first little while. This will likely slow me down a lot (since I write way slower than I type and I have no way of playing the music I need while I'm writing), but I think it should be ok. I already have the notebook I'm going to use and a 5-page step-by-step outline. I don't know what person or tense I'm going to be writing in yet, but I guess that will come to me.
(unrelated) My God, am I hungry.
When I get my new computer, the keyboard is going to be smaller than I'm used to, so that might slow me down... but, I was reading things on the NaNo site today and it seems like a lot of people write their daily quota (1667 words) in two or three hours of solid writing daily. It would be great if I could do that because now that I'm working nights, it won't be a problem for me to put that kind of time in while I'm at work. I'll be able to type some here and write some out long hand, and it will be brilliant. NaNo is going to rock this year - I can feel it.
(unrealted) My tooth is killing me.
I also have the cover art pretty well worked out in my head. (Somewhat) Unfortunately, I'll actually need to take a photo for this one, which means I'll need to acquire/borrow a good camera, then go out and buy the materials for a mini studio (wax paper, bristol board, display board, duct tape) and take it, then load it onto my new netbook and use Inkscape to finish it off. So, time consuming, but it will look awesome.
I won't have a computer until the end of next week at the earliest (probably a little later), so it looks like I'm going to be writing by hand for the first little while. This will likely slow me down a lot (since I write way slower than I type and I have no way of playing the music I need while I'm writing), but I think it should be ok. I already have the notebook I'm going to use and a 5-page step-by-step outline. I don't know what person or tense I'm going to be writing in yet, but I guess that will come to me.
(unrelated) My God, am I hungry.
When I get my new computer, the keyboard is going to be smaller than I'm used to, so that might slow me down... but, I was reading things on the NaNo site today and it seems like a lot of people write their daily quota (1667 words) in two or three hours of solid writing daily. It would be great if I could do that because now that I'm working nights, it won't be a problem for me to put that kind of time in while I'm at work. I'll be able to type some here and write some out long hand, and it will be brilliant. NaNo is going to rock this year - I can feel it.
(unrealted) My tooth is killing me.
I also have the cover art pretty well worked out in my head. (Somewhat) Unfortunately, I'll actually need to take a photo for this one, which means I'll need to acquire/borrow a good camera, then go out and buy the materials for a mini studio (wax paper, bristol board, display board, duct tape) and take it, then load it onto my new netbook and use Inkscape to finish it off. So, time consuming, but it will look awesome.
Sunday, October 24, 2010
A Question
I was looking online at pictures of lockets because I have a coin I'd like to put in one, and was looking for one of the appropriate age/size/style, etc. Through my browsing, a question formed in my brain, one I can't quite shake: Why the hell am I working in a hotel when I should be out designing jewellery and writing books? Worded another way: What the fuck am I doing with my life?
Don't get me wrong, my job is great. I mean, I've been here for an hour and I've spent half of that looking at pretty things online. In a few minutes, I'll do about ten minutes of work, then I'm free for another couple of hours - so I don't mean to make it sound like things are bad... but really, what am I doing? What are any of us doing? Why do we reach adulthood and discard that mantra of you can do whatever you want in favour of doing what's responsible or expected, or, hell, let's just call a spade a spade, whatever will make us the most money. I'm a capitalist to the core, but doesn't capitalism give us the inherent right to be poor - to try doing what we want to do, and to fail if we must?
Me, I've been poor my whole life. I'm sure that most of my childhood (and certainly all of my adulthood to date) were spent well below the poverty line. But that's the thing: poor is relative. If you took me and my living situation and dropped us in the backwater of some third world country, it would blow the people there away. What? Clean drinking water? Heat (usually)? Hot water (most days)? Electricity? A TV that works if you smack it really hard (or sometimes sit on top of it)? Sounds like Heaven. So I've been poor, but life hasn't been hard, not really. So why is being poor taboo? Why is there this stigma, like, Oh, you're poor? You must be kind of stupid and lazy and suffer from an inferior education? I'd love to know where that comes from. Actually, I'm not stupid, thanks. I've made some poor choices in my life, sure, but I'm not stupid. Lazy? In my day-to-day life, sure, but since that day-to-day has included working full time since I was 15, in an overall sense, by Canadian standards, I'm pretty badass - and yeah, my education wasn't great. I dropped out of university three years in. Why? Because I wanted to write. If I had to do it over, I don't know that I would do the same thing, but I stand by my decision. One book in four years isn't terribly impressive, I guess, but when I think of all the people who never finish that first novel, who are so hung up on writing a best-seller that they never write anything, I think that maybe I've done pretty well for myself, busted-ass TV and all.
I guess it's all about expectations - our own, our friends' and families' and society's. Unfortunately, I think too many people (myself included) let society's expectations shape their own. Society expects that I will fail if I don't make a plan of some kind, a template for how my life is supposed to play out - and in our little cookie-cutter land of lifetime blueprints, my life, all our lives should have gone something like this: Elementary school, high school, university, crap job, slightly better job, Kids, marginally OK job aaaaaand, plateau. Retirement. Death. Somewhere in there, if we can, if it's convenient and responsible, it wouldn't hurt for one or two of us to go backpacking in Europe, so the rest of us can live vicariously through them. This is the kind of life we're supposed to content ourselves with, be happy with even.
I don't mean this as a rant against The Man. I'm actually more angry with myself right now than with the retardedness that is our society. I don't understand how I keep convincing myself that I can be happy with a mediocre life. I can't. Maybe I can't be happy with any kind of life, who knows? But I do know that this daily grind, working week, make-ends-meet kind of bullshit isn't for me. I want out.
So rather than ranting, in an attempt to be proactive (and, unfortunately, a little bit responsible), a list of things to get, in order, with the money from the job that I won't be quitting until I have something better to go to:
Don't get me wrong, my job is great. I mean, I've been here for an hour and I've spent half of that looking at pretty things online. In a few minutes, I'll do about ten minutes of work, then I'm free for another couple of hours - so I don't mean to make it sound like things are bad... but really, what am I doing? What are any of us doing? Why do we reach adulthood and discard that mantra of you can do whatever you want in favour of doing what's responsible or expected, or, hell, let's just call a spade a spade, whatever will make us the most money. I'm a capitalist to the core, but doesn't capitalism give us the inherent right to be poor - to try doing what we want to do, and to fail if we must?
Me, I've been poor my whole life. I'm sure that most of my childhood (and certainly all of my adulthood to date) were spent well below the poverty line. But that's the thing: poor is relative. If you took me and my living situation and dropped us in the backwater of some third world country, it would blow the people there away. What? Clean drinking water? Heat (usually)? Hot water (most days)? Electricity? A TV that works if you smack it really hard (or sometimes sit on top of it)? Sounds like Heaven. So I've been poor, but life hasn't been hard, not really. So why is being poor taboo? Why is there this stigma, like, Oh, you're poor? You must be kind of stupid and lazy and suffer from an inferior education? I'd love to know where that comes from. Actually, I'm not stupid, thanks. I've made some poor choices in my life, sure, but I'm not stupid. Lazy? In my day-to-day life, sure, but since that day-to-day has included working full time since I was 15, in an overall sense, by Canadian standards, I'm pretty badass - and yeah, my education wasn't great. I dropped out of university three years in. Why? Because I wanted to write. If I had to do it over, I don't know that I would do the same thing, but I stand by my decision. One book in four years isn't terribly impressive, I guess, but when I think of all the people who never finish that first novel, who are so hung up on writing a best-seller that they never write anything, I think that maybe I've done pretty well for myself, busted-ass TV and all.
I guess it's all about expectations - our own, our friends' and families' and society's. Unfortunately, I think too many people (myself included) let society's expectations shape their own. Society expects that I will fail if I don't make a plan of some kind, a template for how my life is supposed to play out - and in our little cookie-cutter land of lifetime blueprints, my life, all our lives should have gone something like this: Elementary school, high school, university, crap job, slightly better job, Kids, marginally OK job aaaaaand, plateau. Retirement. Death. Somewhere in there, if we can, if it's convenient and responsible, it wouldn't hurt for one or two of us to go backpacking in Europe, so the rest of us can live vicariously through them. This is the kind of life we're supposed to content ourselves with, be happy with even.
I don't mean this as a rant against The Man. I'm actually more angry with myself right now than with the retardedness that is our society. I don't understand how I keep convincing myself that I can be happy with a mediocre life. I can't. Maybe I can't be happy with any kind of life, who knows? But I do know that this daily grind, working week, make-ends-meet kind of bullshit isn't for me. I want out.
So rather than ranting, in an attempt to be proactive (and, unfortunately, a little bit responsible), a list of things to get, in order, with the money from the job that I won't be quitting until I have something better to go to:
- A Netbook for writing. Should have it by the end of the first week of November.
- A decent point-and-shoot; good SLR to follow.
- Supplies for jewellery (specifically: damaged or incomplete antiques from EBay, pliers, various types of wire, glass beads, strong glue, lacquer, a sketchbook just for my designs, some books about various techniques for manufacturing jewellery)
- Supplies to build a desk (I may have do do this after the netbook and before the camera; we'll see how my back holds up during NaNoWriMo.
And actually, for right now, I think that's it. Four things, and I think I'm on my way to a happier me.
Sunday, October 17, 2010
Whell.
It's 6:15 in the morning and I'm just killing time now, until my shift is over. They put me on night audit after just two training shifts. I hope I didn't eff anything up. The night audit thing was a stupid move on my point. I never think before I talk and it always gets me into a world of trouble.
Anywhom, life right now is pretty good. It's been wonderful, really, this past month, and if it weren't for the fact that I can see the end of the road, when the wonderfulness will disappear, I would still be spending all day every day wearing a huge, dorky grin on my face. But I can see it, and it's been a challange to stop myself from breaking down and/or having an anxiety attack every time I breathe or notice that they sky's blue or something like that.
Enough about that; I'm at work and can't afford a breakdown. Good stuff: right now, the offspring is playing on the radio and it's not being censored, and this channel is one of the ones on the official list of designated radio stations we're allowed to listen to at this time, so if guests come in and complain about the swearing, my hands are clean.
Also good, NaNoWriMo is coming up again and I've to decided to participate this year. I'm going to be completely rewriting a story I've been writing little bits of for... I think a year or more now. Don't worry; it's not cheating. Why? Because I'm going to start from scratch and literally rewrite every single word. NaNo is going to let me survive November. It's going to stop me from breaking down - and at the end of it, I'll have a story so emotional and depressing that publishing houses will be beating down my door. That's my plan, anyway. Obviously, there's nothing up there yet, but if you want to check out my story, Eleven Eleven Wish come November 1, you'll be able to find it here, as well as, probably, FictionPress.net.
I think that's it. I have way too many blogs, and I should probably update some of them.
Anywhom, life right now is pretty good. It's been wonderful, really, this past month, and if it weren't for the fact that I can see the end of the road, when the wonderfulness will disappear, I would still be spending all day every day wearing a huge, dorky grin on my face. But I can see it, and it's been a challange to stop myself from breaking down and/or having an anxiety attack every time I breathe or notice that they sky's blue or something like that.
Enough about that; I'm at work and can't afford a breakdown. Good stuff: right now, the offspring is playing on the radio and it's not being censored, and this channel is one of the ones on the official list of designated radio stations we're allowed to listen to at this time, so if guests come in and complain about the swearing, my hands are clean.
Also good, NaNoWriMo is coming up again and I've to decided to participate this year. I'm going to be completely rewriting a story I've been writing little bits of for... I think a year or more now. Don't worry; it's not cheating. Why? Because I'm going to start from scratch and literally rewrite every single word. NaNo is going to let me survive November. It's going to stop me from breaking down - and at the end of it, I'll have a story so emotional and depressing that publishing houses will be beating down my door. That's my plan, anyway. Obviously, there's nothing up there yet, but if you want to check out my story, Eleven Eleven Wish come November 1, you'll be able to find it here, as well as, probably, FictionPress.net.
I think that's it. I have way too many blogs, and I should probably update some of them.
Thursday, May 27, 2010
Not Out of the Woods Yet
It might seem like I have a bit of a one-track mind lately - and you know what? I do. Normally, I don't like to know what's going on in the world. I'm kind of known for how rarely I pick up a newspaper, for my total refusal to watch the news on TV. That's because everything that is deemed newsworthy by the media is awful and not something I want to spend my time thinking about. If this makes me intentionally ignorant, then I guess I'll have to own to that and move on, because nothing, not even this mess in the Gulf of Mexico, is likely to change my mind about the rock I live under.I first heard about the oil leak a few weeks ago, when it had been going on for a while. My brother and our friend Clayton were talking about it as we headed down to the river, and to be honest, I thought they were exaggerating. The more I heard about it, the more I realised that they weren't, that the situation was every bit as bad as they said it was. Right before the whole thing with the beach and the dead fish, I did some research and was totally horrified by the crap BP was dishing out. I was also more than a little freaked about the debates going on online - and the fact that most of them seem to surround the question of whether BP will end the year in the red or in the black. The more I read, the more I became convinced that we're screwed. By we, I mean the whole planet. I don't think that any giant boats in China are likely to save us this time, with Chiwetel Ejiofor's help or not.
What's weird is that even though I really believed this was the end (and I don't think we're anywhere close to out of the woods yet), I couldn't bring myself to do anything. I haven't been writing, because all I could think about is that there wasn't any point, that I might not even live to see another book published. I've spent the past couple of weeks on autopilot, not wanting to put any effort into anything. That makes no sense, though, because I should have been running around, working my ass off to complete everything on the semi-formed bucket list I've had in my head for my whole life, instead of just going numb and crazy, not wanting to work toward anything and at the same time, making plans for a future I didn't believe in.
I found out about half an hour ago that the top kill thing (basically pouring mud into the oil well) has kind of worked, ish, that they've significantly slowed the amount of oil flowing into the ocean. Now, I have no idea if this is true or if it's just another big load of shit from BP, but when I read that news, I literally burst into tears.
Now I just feel inspired to do stuff. All stuff. I want to work out, get a good body so I can get a tattoo or 80. I've always wanted one, and the only thing holding me back has been my fear, not of the pain so much as that my future self won't like it. Well screw it... my present self is more important; my future self might not even exist. I want to get a job and be able to afford to live the way I want, I want to reconnect with old friends, and get rid of the unhealthy influences in my life. I want to climb Burges and go on multiple-day hikes. I want to find true love, which means I want to believe in true love. Right now, I want to do everything.
Monday, April 5, 2010
Molly Dolly
As much as I've been complaining lately, about various things, I suppose I should really just learn to be grateful for what I have. For example, I have an extremely supportive older sister - and as a result I have an adorable Moloch doll, the first ever Aigaion Girl merchandise*. Rhiannon made him for me as a Happy Book Release present. Notice how he's holding an Apple and even has a little loincloth? So damn cute. He even stands up on his own. I asked her how she did that, when his head is bigger than his boddy. She said she 'just did'.Also, as part of further release festivities, she dug through the liquor store for ages to find a cider that I would a) enjoy and b) be able to drink (along with my wonderful spontaneous inability to eat/drink dairy, I seem to be developing a sensitivity to sulphites. Hooray.). She bought four cans, so we could toast to my book release and to my first sales.
So there you have it, my sister the genious.
*Even though this Molly is (and will remain) one of a kind, he's the basic prototype for the Moloch dolls that we plan to sell at our table at FanExpo.
In other news, I've been working a lot on 200 Pages today. I think I've come up with a fairly unique story to go in the main story (there's another story inside that one. It's kind of confusing, actually)... I'm really looking forward to getting this one finished and published.
Also, I left work early today because I was sick. It was so weird, it was like I had all of the physical symtoms of drunkeness with none of the fun parts; my arms and legs felt heavy and tingly, my face felt numbish, and I could focus on anything.... I'm telemarketing and I couldn't even stay fully conscious long enough to dial a number... plus my vision was blurring, so I couldn't read my script properly and I'm damned if I could recite it from memory (it's a really easy script). Anyway, it loses me a night of pay (and possibly Friday's stat pay) but what can you do?
Anywhom, it's nearly 11:00, so I should probably eat something. Yay fooid.
Saturday, February 27, 2010
OK, Yes, I Should Be in Bed, But...
I've been working on the story with the rock in, just on the notes (if I can hold off writing actual content, I may work on 200 Pages until November and use this as my NaNo). So far, I've managed to come up with:
In other news, my Gran had her grand opening today for her tea shop. Everything went very well; the place was jam-packed for the entire four hours of the event. Lincoln and I worked on her website in between serving tea (I'm still uber sick, btw). It was a good day.
Afterwards, the family went out for dinner, and after that, I went to Wal Mart with my mum, Vicky and her boyfriend and bought myself some very snazzy children's shoes, because my feet are abnormally small and it's cheaper for me to buy kids shoes (also, because they don't make ones with rainbow stars that sparkle for adults).
We watched Surrogates tonight, which I think I'm going to have to add to the long list of books and movies that I need to review. I might get to some of those tomorrow; I plan on making it a *very* lazy day.
- A detailed plot for probably the first 8th of the book and a very rough plot for the entire first half.
- The names and descriptions of six characters who I didn't even know were in the book until this evening.
- A name for the overall series (because this book is already convoluted enough that it's going to end up as a series).
- A rough explanation for why the evil thing acts the way it does (other than that it's just evil)
In other news, my Gran had her grand opening today for her tea shop. Everything went very well; the place was jam-packed for the entire four hours of the event. Lincoln and I worked on her website in between serving tea (I'm still uber sick, btw). It was a good day.
Afterwards, the family went out for dinner, and after that, I went to Wal Mart with my mum, Vicky and her boyfriend and bought myself some very snazzy children's shoes, because my feet are abnormally small and it's cheaper for me to buy kids shoes (also, because they don't make ones with rainbow stars that sparkle for adults).
We watched Surrogates tonight, which I think I'm going to have to add to the long list of books and movies that I need to review. I might get to some of those tomorrow; I plan on making it a *very* lazy day.
Sunday, February 21, 2010
MY WEBSITE HAS FINALLY BEEN LAUNCHED!
After a lot of years of agonizing over various things pertaining to my website (design, content, etc.), it's finally all finished, and, if I say so myself, it looks AMAZING. Lincoln did an amazing job helping me improve my designs then converting them into working code I am very, very pleased.Now, of course, it's on to other things: getting A/G out there to the public, designing other websites, sitting down and writing 200 Pages and the other one. For right now, though, I'm seriously tempted just to kick my feet up and declare all done and refuse to do anything productive for the next month at least. Alas, that's not quite how it works. I'm going to do some quick PR, then it's back to the grindstone for me.
Sunday, February 7, 2010
At Risk of Sounding Like a 5 Year Old
I hate my job. I hate everything about my job (by the way, I got a new job). I am a telemarketer selling lawn care, which means my profession is annoying people during their dinner. At the end of every day, I get a stern look from my boss which suggests that whatever I've done, it's not good enough. I'm dreading going back tomorrow.
Also, today has pretty much sucked. The reason I'm working my awful job is that I can't get anything else. My entire family is broke. As a result, what I've eaten today is 1 pancake (bad idea, because I shouldn't have dairy), 1 potatoe, 1/4 of a can of salmon and one chocolate bar. I'm stuck at my mother's office, because I was stupid enough to come in here today (I spent ALL DAY yesterday working for free for my gran, which I don't mind doing, 'cause she deserves it), figuring I could get some of my own stuff done. I did get a lot of my own stuff done, but over the course of the day, my office has been disassembled, because, apparently, my dividers don't need to be held up by anything; we're just going to wedge them between my desk and the filing cabinet on the other side. Yeah, that won't look stupid at all.
Then, around 7:00pm, my mum had to run to take my dad to see my grandma, because my grandma isn't well and was convinced she lived somewhere other than where she does. My mum was gone a couple of hours (I should mention that this office is pretty much in the middle of nowhere) and now that she's back, they're probably going to be another two hours rearranging the office furniture.
I call this the game of How retarded can we make our office look? We're going for a new record, I think.
Okay, I think I'm done whining.
In other news, I've finished my edits to Aigaion Girl a second time, but I need to change the cover art slightly (I adjusted the margins at the suggestion of my family and ended up with an extra 8-10 pages), which I'll have to do from the computer at home... which means I have to download Inkscape, but that's not a huge deal.
Also, I posted an article on Devereaux Court and worked out the content for my website.
Also, today has pretty much sucked. The reason I'm working my awful job is that I can't get anything else. My entire family is broke. As a result, what I've eaten today is 1 pancake (bad idea, because I shouldn't have dairy), 1 potatoe, 1/4 of a can of salmon and one chocolate bar. I'm stuck at my mother's office, because I was stupid enough to come in here today (I spent ALL DAY yesterday working for free for my gran, which I don't mind doing, 'cause she deserves it), figuring I could get some of my own stuff done. I did get a lot of my own stuff done, but over the course of the day, my office has been disassembled, because, apparently, my dividers don't need to be held up by anything; we're just going to wedge them between my desk and the filing cabinet on the other side. Yeah, that won't look stupid at all.
Then, around 7:00pm, my mum had to run to take my dad to see my grandma, because my grandma isn't well and was convinced she lived somewhere other than where she does. My mum was gone a couple of hours (I should mention that this office is pretty much in the middle of nowhere) and now that she's back, they're probably going to be another two hours rearranging the office furniture.
I call this the game of How retarded can we make our office look? We're going for a new record, I think.
Okay, I think I'm done whining.
In other news, I've finished my edits to Aigaion Girl a second time, but I need to change the cover art slightly (I adjusted the margins at the suggestion of my family and ended up with an extra 8-10 pages), which I'll have to do from the computer at home... which means I have to download Inkscape, but that's not a huge deal.
Also, I posted an article on Devereaux Court and worked out the content for my website.
Monday, September 14, 2009
Some Stuffs
#1: My computer is temporarily fixed! Not that many people knew it was broken, of course, because I couldn't get online to tell anyone I couldn't get online. Ronnie, who is one of my supervisors at work, took it the night before yesterday, and brought it to me last night, having fixed it with duct tape. He is officially my hero.#2: Because Mephie was on the fritz, my edits on Aigaion Girl had pretty much come to a standstill. I had the day off work today, so I decided to spend some time editing. I was sad for a while, because I'd forgotten my computer was fixed, but then I remembered that it was, and I just finished going back through A/G and changing all of the Canadian spellings to American (the main character is from Philly; I thought it would be weird if she spelled colour c-o-l-o-u-r). Now I'm checking grammatical things and then I think (*knock on wood*) I shall be done (*knock on wood again*).
#3: Room inspection again today. I think we did fine. Whatever.
#4: My computer, my MP3 player and my camera all broke last week. So far, just Mephistopheles has been fixed. The camera is dead for sure, but I'm not sure about my MP3. I was thinking about climbing Burges this week, but I'm definitely not going to without my camera; it would be far too depressing.
#5: I sent a lot of letters home the day before yesterday. I got a post card from my brother and sister-in-law, and it got me in a writing mood. I'm looking forward to sending Christmas cards this year, because there's actually a slight chance I'll get some back.
That's the update for now.
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