England is everything I could have hoped for, Brighton especially. I love the old buildings, the melancholy feeling in the air when it is cloudy, the remnants of camping and beaches and old fairs when there is sun.

I love the fashion here. Everyone is fashion conscious, which isn't to say they're well-dressed, but you can tell that time and consideration went into the choosing of every outfit, even the ugly ones. Still, there's a laid back feeling to it; these people dress the way they do not because it is popular, but because the genuinely want to look good.

I was a lot more impressed with central London than I was expecting to be. Maybe because we were there later in the evening or because of the time of year, but I didn't see any of the dirty, overcrowded mess that I had anticipated. It's lovely, incomparable to anything we have in Canada. Not somewhere I would live, given my dislike of people, but still somewhere I can see myself spending a lot of time quite happily.

I could write endlessly, I really could, but right now there's just way too much to see and do, so I'm cutting this short for the moment. More to follow, I'm sure.

Surreality

So I'm sitting at work for the last time, listening to classical music and thinking. I've got two hours left. Hard to believe after nearly 6 months working here.

Something has occurred to me over the past couple of days. I have had 10+ish jobs over the past 10 years and this is the only one that I've actually been sorry about leaving. Of course, I love that I'm going, and I LOVE why I'm going, but it's still going to be hard to say goodbye to this place and the people that make it what it is.

In some ways it feels like I've been here much longer than six months and in some ways it feels like I just got here. I can still clearly remember the 3 day bus ride, my first night in town, spent in room 120, my first nights in Cave Hell, all of it, really, from the summer. I remember being taken on a tour of the town, and, of course, meeting this intelligent, gorgeous man and agonizing over how I would ever get up the courage to ask him out :) It's forever ago and five minutes. Time is definitely malfunctioning here.

I have so much to do today. Most of it is laundry, some of it is packing and a fair bit will be deciding what stuff to donate to charity and what to do with things like that bigass painting that I did in (I'm going to say September, but I'm not sure). Somewhere in there, I need to have a nap, go to the gym, take down the Xmas tree, hopefully go to the bank, head to the post office. Then wings tonight and sushi tomorrow... and then it's off to Edmonton, early, early Friday morning.

It's a whirlwind. Even this shift, which consisted of one phone call, which I transferred, zoomed right by. I remember once, when I was little, we went camping and when I got into bed, I closed my eyes and counted to three. I don't know why I counted to three, but when I opened my eyes, it was morning. The whole night went by in 1... 2... 3. This feels kind of like that. In three seconds, I could be stepping into the arrivals area of the airport. Unbelievable, but deeply wonderful.

Valentine's Day

I figured I should write my Valentine's day post now, while I'm thinking about it, since I'm going to be way to busy, come the actual day.

I didn't used to be the biggest fan of Valentine's day. It's always struck me as kind of a weird holiday, way too commercial and based way too much of people's insecurities and fear of being alone.

BUT, since this Valentine's day will be nothing short of magical (I'll be landing in the U.K., after over 100 days of waiting* :), I'm a lot more pro V-day than I have been in the past. I am, of course, really looking forward to it this year. Of course, I would be anyway, even if to everyone else in the world, it was just another Monday.

AND (since we're starting whole paragraphs with conjunctions), on top of the impending wonderfulness of February 14th, I found the above Valentines here. I'm having to work very hard indeed not to buy them. Very hard.

Also, The Scientist is on the radio. ♥ overload.

*!!!!! :D ♥ !!!!!

Le Zzz

I AM SO EFFING TIRED.

This whole not sleeping thing is starting to eat my brain. It's not that I'm not sleeping (well, I don't think I slept today), it's just that I'm not sleeping as much as I should be. But today I was dead tried, lying in bed with the light off and I still couldn't get to sleep. So I have no idea.

Crap. I had other stuff but I can't remember. I'm seriously nearly falling asleep at the desk*. Soon, my pizza will get here** Maybe that will wake me up. That makes no sense. You know what? I'm gonna call it a night, blog-wise. I'll post something sensible when I'm awake again.

*I work at a desk. I'm at work right now.
**Poor life choice.

Flesh for Fantasy = Never Changing the Radio Station

At work and nothing much to report. It is Rtardedly hot in here, and I am absolutely melting. Either there is something very wrong with my ability to regulate my body temperature or something wrong with all (3) of the buildings that I spend time in. I'm always either freezing cold or sweating buckets. Blah.

I love that my only complaints in life at the moment are tied to body temperature. Everything else is going wonderfully right now (*KNOCK ON WOOD!!!!!*) I leave Canada in a few short weeks and I think this is easily the most excited I've ever been about anything, ever.

I'm starting to stress a little, but it's all self-inflicted stress, brought on my guilt when I'm procrastinating and know I shouldn't be and it's easily overcome.

I'm going to miss this place; I have a great job, I've made some great friends and I live in a beautiful national park - but I'm really looking forward to seeing everyone back home that I haven't seen in 5.5+ months and I'm really looking forward to the part that comes after that, the end of the 108 day wait, when I'll fall into a state of ridiculous happiness which will somehow contrive to surpass what I'm feeling now.

:(

I'm using that face, 'cause there isn't a universally recognized I just vomited in my own mouth emoticon, and profound sadness at the situation is the runner up emotion. Soon after I got to work, this guy called, sounding fairly distraught and mumbling, then said something like, "Just let me put this down", set the phone down and proceeded to jerk off audibly. Yeah, perfect way to start my night. I'm terrified to answer the phone now. Apparently, he used to do this fairly frequently (I'm assuming it's the same guy), but stopped sometime before I started working here 5 months ago* and picked tonight to start up again. I tried to star 69 him, but it didn't work. Ugh. I so do not need this shit. I mean, honestly, why can't he just watch porn like everyone else?

Between that and learning about Bridalplasty, which is just a horribly depressing statement on the condition of the world, this hasn't been the greatest night ever. Dumb crap like this should not be getting to me, but for whatever reason, it is tonight.

I didn't make it to the gym tonight, and I really need to. I realized today that I haven't been since before Christmas. Not good.

On a much happier note, it's officially Jan 11. The past couple weeks have zoomed by... I can already feel the (comparatively) warm English rain on my face, smell airport smells and see London. I am so there.

*Hey, 5 months ago today - well, yesterday, but today for me... or something.

2011 Plans & Resolutions

I seem to switch back and forth between two opinions on New Years resolutions. Some years, I make tonnes (for 2009, I made 53 - I think I kept 2) and some years, I think it's stupid to need an excuse to do something that you should be doing anyway - IE: why would you wait until January to start going to the gym or quit smoking or start pottery lessons, or whatever it is that you're planning to do?

This year, well, I only really had one resolution, and I took care of it before 2011 started; I've already bought my plane ticket :) The past few months, I've filled this blog with allusions and (very) thinly veiled hints, so I thought today, as the first day of 2011 (I know, it's technically the second. I work graveyard. Sue me.), I would clarify a few things.

The countdown on the side of my blog is to Valentine's day, which just so happens, is the day I land(♥!). I'm going to the UK, where I plan to be blissfully (possibly even ridiculously) happy. I don't have a job yet, or a place to live, or a concrete plan for either of those things, and I'm not worried. I'll find a job, day to day life will be difficult for a while, pinching pennies will be an understatement of the necessary budgeting, I'll be poor. Poor and happy.

This reminds me of being a little kid on one of our roadtripesque* family vacations, bouncing up and down in the back seat, praying to some nameless higher power that soon, we'd just bloody get there. Although, when I was a kid, I was excited but also sullen and angry and impatient and now I'm pretty much just excited and impatient.

So, now to the planning. I have a million to do, and not too much time to do it in (see the counter). Time for more lists. :)

*On normal road trips, my understanding is that you stop and sleep occasionally, instead of driving for 18-26 hours nonstop.