NaNoWriMo '10

So NaNoWriMo starts in 2 days. Er, one day. Sorry; working nights effs with your brain's ability to know what day it is.

I won't have a computer until the end of next week at the earliest (probably a little later), so it looks like I'm going to be writing by hand for the first little while. This will likely slow me down a lot (since I write way slower than I type and I have no way of playing the music I need while I'm writing), but I think it should be ok. I already have the notebook I'm going to use and a 5-page step-by-step outline. I don't know what person or tense I'm going to be writing in yet, but I guess that will come to me.

(unrelated) My God, am I hungry.

When I get my new computer, the keyboard is going to be smaller than I'm used to, so that might slow me down... but, I was reading things on the NaNo site today and it seems like a lot of people write their daily quota (1667 words) in two or three hours of solid writing daily. It would be great if I could do that because now that I'm working nights, it won't be a problem for me to put that kind of time in while I'm at work. I'll be able to type some here and write some out long hand, and it will be brilliant. NaNo is going to rock this year - I can feel it.

(unrealted) My tooth is killing me.

I also have the cover art pretty well worked out in my head. (Somewhat) Unfortunately, I'll actually need to take a photo for this one, which means I'll need to acquire/borrow a good camera, then go out and buy the materials for a mini studio (wax paper, bristol board, display board, duct tape) and take it, then load it onto my new netbook and use Inkscape to finish it off. So, time consuming, but it will look awesome.

A Question

I was looking online at pictures of lockets because I have a coin I'd like to put in one, and was looking for one of the appropriate age/size/style, etc. Through my browsing, a question formed in my brain, one I can't quite shake: Why the hell am I working in a hotel when I should be out designing jewellery and writing books? Worded another way: What the fuck am I doing with my life?

Don't get me wrong, my job is great. I mean, I've been here for an hour and I've spent half of that looking at pretty things online. In a few minutes, I'll do about ten minutes of work, then I'm free for another couple of hours - so I don't mean to make it sound like things are bad... but really, what am I doing? What are any of us doing? Why do we reach adulthood and discard that mantra of you can do whatever you want in favour of doing what's responsible or expected, or, hell, let's just call a spade a spade, whatever will make us the most money. I'm a capitalist to the core, but doesn't capitalism give us the inherent right to be poor - to try doing what we want to do, and to fail if we must?

Me, I've been poor my whole life. I'm sure that most of my childhood (and certainly all of my adulthood to date) were spent well below the poverty line. But that's the thing: poor is relative. If you took me and my living situation and dropped us in the backwater of some third world country, it would blow the people there away. What? Clean drinking water? Heat (usually)? Hot water (most days)? Electricity? A TV that works if you smack it really hard (or sometimes sit on top of it)? Sounds like Heaven. So I've been poor, but life hasn't been hard, not really. So why is being poor taboo? Why is there this stigma, like, Oh, you're poor? You must be kind of stupid and lazy and suffer from an inferior education? I'd love to know where that comes from. Actually, I'm not stupid, thanks. I've made some poor choices in my life, sure, but I'm not stupid. Lazy? In my day-to-day life, sure, but since that day-to-day has included working full time since I was 15, in an overall sense, by Canadian standards, I'm pretty badass - and yeah, my education wasn't great. I dropped out of university three years in. Why? Because I wanted to write. If I had to do it over, I don't know that I would do the same thing, but I stand by my decision. One book in four years isn't terribly impressive, I guess, but when I think of all the people who never finish that first novel, who are so hung up on writing a best-seller that they never write anything, I think that maybe I've done pretty well for myself, busted-ass TV and all.

I guess it's all about expectations - our own, our friends' and families' and society's. Unfortunately, I think too many people (myself included) let society's expectations shape their own. Society expects that I will fail if I don't make a plan of some kind, a template for how my life is supposed to play out - and in our little cookie-cutter land of lifetime blueprints, my life, all our lives should have gone something like this: Elementary school, high school, university, crap job, slightly better job, Kids, marginally OK job aaaaaand, plateau. Retirement. Death. Somewhere in there, if we can, if it's convenient and responsible, it wouldn't hurt for one or two of us to go backpacking in Europe, so the rest of us can live vicariously through them. This is the kind of life we're supposed to content ourselves with, be happy with even.

I don't mean this as a rant against The Man. I'm actually more angry with myself right now than with the retardedness that is our society. I don't understand how I keep convincing myself that I can be happy with a mediocre life. I can't. Maybe I can't be happy with any kind of life, who knows? But I do know that this daily grind, working week, make-ends-meet kind of bullshit isn't for me. I want out.

So rather than ranting, in an attempt to be proactive (and, unfortunately, a little bit responsible), a list of things to get, in order, with the money from the job that I won't be quitting until I have something better to go to:

1. A Netbook for writing. Should have it by the end of the first week of November.
2. A decent point-and-shoot; good SLR to follow.
3. Supplies for jewellery (specifically: damaged or incomplete antiques from EBay, pliers, various types of wire, glass beads, strong glue, lacquer, a sketchbook just for my designs, some books about various techniques for manufacturing jewellery)
4. Supplies to build a desk (I may have do do this after the netbook and before the camera; we'll see how my back holds up during NaNoWriMo.

And actually, for right now, I think that's it. Four things, and I think I'm on my way to a happier me.

Aigaion, Yet Again

Well, and other stuff too.

I've been going through the final (gruelling) edits of Aigaion Girl for the past couple days. I've also been laying it out as I go so that I don't still have a ridiculous amount of layout work to contend with after I finish edits. Other than the fact that I've become (even more of) an antisocial hermit who has trouble remembering to eat and bathe, I'm having a fair bit of fun.

Mephie is being held together with tape and love, but he's doing very well and I'm proud of him.

I really like the way this book is looking. Really a lot. It manages to look cute but not girly, modern but not unprofessional. I'm quite pleased with myself - and, since I ate my dinner again tonight and am about to shower, I get a gold star.

In other news, my sister had some headshots taken to give to her modelling agency. They're pretty darn good, though I have no idea if they're what the agency is looking for or not. I guess we'll find out. I'm actually thinking that I might (after making use of the gym here for the months between now and May) go to the same agency and see if they've got anything for me. It couldn't hurt, and anyway, then I'd have an excuse to get a bunch of professional pictures taken and not seem totally vain ;)

What else? I'm no longer a housekeeper. There's a whole story there which I won't get into. I now work in the kitchen (well, the hotel is shut down at the moment, which is where I got the time to do the extreme amount of editing I've been doing) as a dishwasher. The su chef is really nice, as is the head chef, so apart from dirty looks from the randomly angry australian chef, I think everything is going to work out fine.

Um, I have a cousin who has H1N1. I guess it's making its rounds. Scary stuff.

Canada's Economic Action Plan is an effing joke.

I think that's close to it. I really need to shower, so I can get up early(ish) tomorrow and get to work.

Yawn, Stretch... SLEEP

Let me see.

Worked out with Rhiannon yesterday, and took Loki for his long walk. Oh, that was the other thing I did...

I finished the thing I was working on for my cousin. The thing that REALLY NEEDED TO BE DONE RIGHT AWAY... the thing that was the cause for a 45+ minute conference call, during which website guy interrupted every possible chance he got, with something irrelevant to what we were working on, or something we were going to be discussing later. I finished that yesterday. It looks really good (if I do say so myself). I emailed it to my cousin and website guy at 4:30, half an hour before I said it would be done. I still haven't heard anything back from either of them, or gotten any indication that they even received it.

Also, last night, while Rhiannon and I were *finally* making the pie we've been planning to get to all week, I bit my tongue. Really, bloody hard. I couldn't talk for a huge chunk of the night. I can talk now, but it hurts like hell, and I kind of sound like a semi-deaf person who can lip read but isn't sure how English words are supposed to sound.

Today we went to take pictures of our work out path, so we could put them in our little work out books, and record what we've been doing. I'm sorely tempted to put my before and current (not quite after) pictures up on here, but I won't, because I'm only wearing underclothes in them and somehow, the idea of putting half-naked pictures of myself on the Internet doesn't really seem like the best on ever. I do look damn good, though, and it is a big change.

I worked a lot of Aigaion Girl today, too. I wrote a chapterette from the perspective of Death, which went over fairly well, and now I'm 730 odd words into the final chapter. I really wish I just had the energy to sit down and finish it.

I suppose I should run. I had pizza at sevenish, but I'm pretty hungry and I could use something cold and fizzy for my poor punctured tongue. Since no interwebz at home, I'll have to actually shut my lappy down to do that.

So here I go. Wish me luck.